Dear Mr Microsoft and Mr Molyneux

I've been having a lovely time playing your Fable II videogame on the Xbox Three Hundred and Sixty entertainment machine over Festivus, but sadly all the while I couldn't help but think "gosh! If only this was also available on the IBM Compatible electronic typing machine." Because then I'd be able to write many thoughtful words about it on this delightful weblog, and any of our lovely readers who feel RPGs are a bit too grim'n'guts'n'gunplay these days could relax into something entirely light-hearted and so delightfully determined to reward rather than penalise its players.

Please heed our calls, good sirs. You were gentlemanly enough to give us a PC edition of Fable The First a short time after its Xbox The First release, so we fully anticipate this bright-eyed ruffian arriving on our doorstep any day now. If it was available on dear Madame PC, you'd also be able to use her many buttons to fix the horrific spell selection system. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Of course, you would have to change the job mini-games to something a little less game-paddy and monotonous, and would have to put up with more hot-tempered people rudely proclaiming that they don't think it's an RPG, the morality's too binary, they're offended by bodily functions and that there's no replay value. They might be a little bit right, but don't pay too much heed to such miseriguts - I think you should do it anyway.
kisses,
Alec

ps - I really liked it when Zoe Wanamaker said "kiss my arse."