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Enough about male V romancing Judy, when can I date Cyberpunk's vending machine?

Loved-up modders have managed to let Cyberpunk 2077's male V get sweaty with Judy, who in the game only becomes pals with gals. Their romance even has voice lines from male V. But while this has some players crowing about 'cut content' (a deeply cursed phrase, that), it's all just noise distracting from the real hole in Cyberpunk 2077's roster of eligible bachelors: why can't I date Brendan, the vending machine?

V meets Brendan in the shadow of Megabuilding H8 in Japantown, and a cute wee friendship grows across repeated visits in his quest chain. He's packing some super-advanced AI, almost suspiciously advanced, which makes him seem just like a real boy. One of his other frequent customers develops a bit of a thing for him, and frankly I wish V could too.

Brendan's a good egg, sweet and funny. He's even voiced by Bryan Dechart, the actor behind another robot adored by chromelickers, Connor from Detroit: Become Human. If events of his quests didn't interfere, V might totally get a crush on Brendan. Oh sure she's a murderer, but V is a big goofball and a touch too credulous for her own good. She'd be down to clown with a vending machine. Just imagine Brendan flirting by flicking pennies at V out his coin return slot. Adorable. And by god her cyberarms would have a good rummage in his canhole.

Oh, that male V Judy romance? Yeah, folks have found a male V can romance Judy if you use a mod to get into the debug options and have a good fiddle. While it's not without quirks, it does kinda work because the game includes voice lines for the male V. Do be warned: this video from "FredrickFlower" includes one of the sex scenes which are so eerie and unsexy that you'll strongly consider celibacy.

CD Projekt Red told Eurogamer that "Judy was always only a female V romance partner and that was the artistic vision from the start, there was no male romance option cut from the game." So how come the lines are in there?

"It was simply more convenient and easier for our localisation team from a production point of view to record all lines with both voices, so we could avoid missing something by mistake that would require future recordings," they said. "This was done with pretty much everything just to be on the safe side although it can vary between the different languages."

Given how early voicework is often recorded in development, and much a game can change shape over the years, yeah it probably is sensible to get everything on tape, just in case. Maybe V's gender wasn't always defined by the voice you select, who knows. But tbh I've no interest in debates or speculation when V can't pump Brendan full of change.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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