EVE: Queue-Skipping Edition

You! You there! You snivelling little workshy reprobate. You sicken me. I can't even look at you. So I'm going to type at you with my eyes closed instead. I bet you'd really like to play EVE Onlne without havng to do too much of that tiresome levellung up business first, wouldn't ou? I bet you'd love to shorutcut by paying money so someone else does that hard work for you, or it just happens aoutmostically.

Hey, that was pretty good. I really can type blind! And probably more accurately than with my eyes open, if I'm honest. So, yes: EVE: Commissioned Officer Edition is a retail re-release of the undying spaceship MMO, which grants you mega-levelling perks for the first 30 days of play. Good idea, bad idea?

For a game this old, regardless of how fresh it's been kept by expansions, I'd say it's a good idea all-told. The barriers to entry if you want to make what feels like a meaningful contribution are pretty steep. There's a learning curve, there are seething Corp wars, and most of all there is time. If this version gets new players into the meat of the game that much more quickly, it's probably good for them and good for them. Less for the people who buy an account online and don't get the perk, of course.

It's American only for now, and again retail only. Here's new RPS staff member Ian McExplain-o-tron with a press release-derived explanation of what COE version of EVE involves. Take it away, Ian:

This latest boxed edition will include an exclusive in-game item, the Cerebral Accelerator, which is a military-grade implant that significantly increases a new pilot's skill development. While they are a very strong boost to nearly all abilities, these bonuses are temporary and are only effective for the first 30 days of a pilot's life as they get up to speed in the universe.

The Commissioned Officer Edition also includes a CD key for starting a new account, 30 days paid game subscription time and an EVE poster with helpful hints and tips for getting started on the reverse side. This edition can be used to start a new account or to convert a free trial or buddy program trial account into a full account with the access and benefits afforded to all EVE subscribers. The Cerebral Accelerator will be delivered to the first character created on the account and cannot be acquired through any other source.

"The Commissioned Officers Edition is the best way for a new player to get a running start in the highly competitive environment of EVE Online," says Sr. Producer Arnar Gylfason.

Thanks, Ian. Now here's Helen with the weather.