"When I was a kid we were told we'd have jetpacks," says a panel show comedian whose name escapes you, "and yet I still have to walk to work like a caveman?" The host, a better comedian, nods politely at this trite sentiment. The jetman bangs the table as he cries "This isn't the future I was promised!"
Fortnite Battle Royale yesterday delivered a future other than the one it promised, adding a new Hunting Rifle in this week's update rather than the billed jetpacks. This is only a minor jetdelay, mind. Like real jetpacks, Fortnite's are just around the corner.
"We found a last minute design issue with the Jetpack that's going to delay its launch and we're working on correcting it," an Epic community manager explained on Tuesday. And so the new hunting rifle covered for its absence in yesterday's patch.
The Hunting Rifle is an unscoped single-shot rifle, found in chests and on the floor with Uncommon and Rare rarity. It won't shoot you into the skies but it will shoot other people in the face.
The update also added a new little town to the map, Lucky Landing (pictured above) down on the island's southern edge, as well as tweaking drop rates of some weapons, fixing bugs, and slipping in a few little performance optimisations.
Changes are also in for Fortnite: Save the World, the original build-o-survival sandboxy thing mode (which, unlike Battle Royale, still costs money to play). These include a new questline, new group missions, and new weapons.
When will jetpacks come? Epic won't be more specific than "at a later time." They wouldn't want to keep promising the future then fail to deliver it, after all, lest the panel show comedians come for them.