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Give us the time-travelling gal pal Assassin's Creed TV show we deserve, you cowards

Eivor, Kassandra and Evie Frye should team up and go a murderin'

Every game and their dog seems to be getting a TV show these days. Just this week Crystal Dynamics announced a new Tomb Raider anime that will continue the reboot trilogy, but last year brought us news that Fallout's getting one too, as is Disco Elysium - and The Witcher, of course, already has one (which we've dissected in great detail). Assassin's Creed is in Netflix's sights as well, but having spent a good 100-odd hours in Assassin's Creed Valhalla recently, there is only one possible form an Assassin's Creed TV show should take: a time-travelling adventure show that stars Eivor, Kassandra and Evie Frye, because let's face it, they're the best protagonists the series has and together I know they'd sort the Templars right out. Let me explain.

I'll be honest. A large part of my thinking behind this is simply because I want to see these ladies being cool together. They're much more interesting than any of the male protagonists in the series, and I'd love to see how they'd all react and play off each other's quirks and mannerisms. How would no-nonsense quip machine Evie Frye deal with Kassandra's world class flirting, for example? And what would big, beefy Eivor think of Evie's sleek cane sword? Could either of them drink Eivor under the table, and would either of them be able to beat her at flyting? There's so much potential here, and I think the right team of writers could have great fun with them all palling around together.

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It's also 100% feasible that it could actually happen, too. My pitch is this: the meat of the show would take place in post Valhalla England. Kassandra, as we know, is in possession of her Isu immortality staff at this point, and has no doubt been sleeping her way around the world in the intervening years. This alone has great comic potential, meeting up dozens, if not hundreds of Kassandra's old flames as this trio of Assassins go about their business. But I digress. The point is, Kassandra is a free agent, and could absolutely go and find Eivor in the event of some world-ending cataclysm.

As for Evie, if there's going to be anyone who accidentally invents time-travel, it's going to be the Victorians. While H. G. Wells isn't technically a character that's featured in Assassin's Creed Syndicate, there are plenty of other historical figures you meet in that game, from Alexander Bell and Florence Nightingale to Charles Dickens and Charles Darwin in one of the later DLC missions. There's no reason why H. G. Wells shouldn't exist in the world of Syndicate London, and given how much the series loves tipping its hat to real-world events, you could have a situation where Wells' inspiration for his novel The Time Machine comes from actually encountering some weird Isu doodad that accidentally sends Evie back in time. Heck, given that Kassandra is still wandering the globe at this point, you could even have a situation where Victorian Kassandra prods Wells and Evie to create an actual time machine so that their gal time adventure times can actually take place back in Eivor's time.

This show is practically writing itself!

Kassandra speaks to a woman in Assassin's Creed Odyssey
I can just hear Eivor and Evie sighing as Kassandra hits on everyone they meet. | Image credit: Rock Paper Shotgun/Ubisoft

As for the actual bulk of their mystery crime-solving adventures, the Assassin's Creed series is rife with enough Isu god macguffin nonsense to fill several seasons worth of plot. It could be like a dark and violent Doctor Who and have individual episodes where bad'uns across time and space need taking out, or it could do a Star Trek Discovery type thing and have a more 'monster of the week'-esque structure while still having an overarching plot of some kind. I mean, you could literally invent any new Piece of Eden and no one would bat an eyelid.

Heck, you could probably create an entire new Order of proto-Templars if you wanted, as it's sort of implied at the end of Valhalla that old King Aelfred's 'Universal Order' vision is what eventually becomes the modern day Templars. If you set the show immediately post-Valhalla, that's still 24 years of Alfred-based shenanigans to play with.

Evie has always been the best Frye twin, no doubt about it.

Mostly, though, I just want to see more Eivor, more Kassandra, and more of Evie Frye being great. They're too good to just leave in their respective games, and I think they'd be brilliant Assassin pals, too. I love Eivor's gun-ho approach to battle, I love how Kassandra sleeps with anything that moves, and gosh, Evie was just so chuffing capable compared to her useless brother Jacob. More of that please.

So come on, Ubisoft, let's sit down and make this show happen. I'll take 90% of the credit, and you can have a cool Assassin's Creed show that will make everyone forget you ever made that terrible, terrible film of it. Sound like a deal?

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