Happy Valentine's, you can win a huge and official Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood dildo

We've eschewed any Valentine's theming this year, but Edwin put this in our news queue last night as a sort of dare for our evening shift, and let the record show I am less of a coward than Graham Smith. The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, a visual novel Tarot-themed card game from perennial (perhaps perineal, in this case) favourites Deconstructeam, was praised by Edwin in his review, and I was going to use the same strapline for this news post had he not got there first. Because now, in time for the season of romance, they've teamed up with sex toy purveyors Uberrime to create a frankly prohibitively massive dildo as an official tie-in for the game, which can be won in a free competition by three lucky people living in either the UK, EU, US or Canada (as in, they each win their own dildo; they don't have to time share).

I mean I say "prohibitively", but I don't know your life.

Still, even the official description - that link is very NSFW - of the dildo uses the term "monster cock", and it's about three Coke cans in length, judging from the can-for-scale picture on the website, though exact specs are not provided. As an aside, I went through three variants of pixelation for that header image to find the funniest version. The gold and purple silicone dildo, called Daddy Abramar, is inspired by the "God-like girth of Abramar the forbidden Behemoth". Quoting now from Edwin's review, Abramar is "part-lobster and part-humanoid, with far too many eyes and a mouth that splits alarmingly into a flame-licked skeletal grin." Takes all comers. As the Bishop said to the-

The winners will also recieve a DIY make-your-own Tarot cards kit, which ties in to the key business of what you do in the game. Entrants must, among other things (check the site for details - again, NSFW) create a Tarot card in the game along the theme of desire. So it's free to enter, but you do need a copy of The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood.

All in all I think this is a pretty good bit of marketing kit. Some people will get involved with this because they think it's funny, some people will get involved because they like Deconstructeam's work and think this is a good and unique tie-in to that, and some people will get involved because they want a big cool dildo. Crucially, if you are a bit shy about being the third type of person, there is no way to prove you're not one of the first two.

The competition closes on February the 29th. Happy Valentine's!