Have You Played... Star Wars: Battlefront 2

Let me take you back to 2005, when game names were probably just as stupid but at least a little less confusing. I'm like, twelve. I've just discovered multiplayer first-person shooters are a thing, that I like them, and that I like Star Wars: Battlefront 2 in particular.

My tag used to be "Oblivion", and my obsession grew to the point where I once joined a server and someone instantly said "oh no not this guy".

I don't know why. I was a goodun', surely. To this day, one of my proudest gaming accomplishments is organising a Christmas Day truce on my favourite server. By truce I mean 'very fleeting agreement that we'd all just use pistols', but it was in the same spirit.

I was in a clan and everything! We were called The Kamino Freaks, I think because the dude that started it really liked the Kamino map. It was a sniper's paradise and every non-sniper's nightmare, though I doubt I ever brought that up.

I don't think I ever figured out why the other dude reacted to me joining that server. It's possible I was just so good that they were lamenting their imminent destruction. It's more possible that I was an irritating pre-teen who used to badger people in an infuriating but non-malicious manner. Or maybe I was just a prick.

The past is a hazy place. Let's leave.