Skip to main content

Metro: Last Light Gives Hygiene, Murder Advice

Confession time: I very frequently feel like I am neither clean nor deadly enough, which is the root cause of most of my insecurities. I sometimes think, you know, maybe if I were just slightly above-average at one or the other, everything would be all right. But goodness, I don't even know where to begin. Fortunately, the final entry in Metro: Last Light's "Ranger Survival Guide" series is here to clear up a few things - including my grit-caked, horrifically pockmarked skin - for me. Apparently, my biggest mistake was failing to wipe rain, grime, and radioactive goop off my face all the time. Also, I need to buy a gun. I am, however, hopeful, because a charmingly rugged Russian man has told me I'm infinitely capable of both.

Watch on YouTube

Hmmm, I guess I only want to be moderately deadly. I would prefer not to pop jugular or nostril veins like over-stuffed blood balloons, thanks. Maybe I'll just slice people's shoelaces as a stern (and family friendly) warning.

But yes, more Metro-y goodness. I still haven't gotten a chance to find out if 4A's improved the feel of the gunplay, but it certainly looks nicer. Then again, 2033 was all about atmosphere first and foremost, so incessant mask wiping is actually the biggest standout for me. I coughed out a thick, sooty cloud of words about it last year, but the gist is that I love the extra dimension it adds to both survival and physicality. "Games like Mirror’s Edge really did a convincing job of giving players a body within a game world," I wrote, handsomely. "Metro: Last Light made me really, really want to bathe it."

So Metro's world is gross and sickly, swarmed by flies and reeking of irradiated rot. Or at least, it does a really nice job of presenting that illusion. Regardless, I'm a sucker for meticulously realized worlds, and Last Light certainly seems to be taking up 2033's torch on that front.

It's out next month. Fingers crossed for the best. Oh, but could you maybe wash them first?

Read this next