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Resident Evil Revelations 2 Announced But Unrevealed

So let's talk about Troll 2 instead

If Capcom's announcement of Resident Evil Revelations 2 had included any useful or interesting information, I'd have told you about that. As all they offered was a teaser trailer and some artwork, let's talk about Troll 2. One of those so-bad-it's-good cult classics, the horror movie (not in any way a sequel to Troll) is about backwoods town Nilbog, whose residents are secretly goblins (not trolls). The goblins eat out-of-towners, of course, but are vegetarian so they magically turn people into plants then scoop up the goop. It made a serious point about vegetarianism, its director insists.

Based on the live-action trailer, the only rational assumption we can make is that Revelations 2 will do the same for fitness culture and those Fitbit wristband computer things.

Or not. Whatever. If we stick simply to the facts, we can say (thanks to some teaser artwork) that at least one character in the game will have at least one eyeball. Capcom call it a "survival horror experience" and say that it's coming to PC in "early 2015," but we'll have to trust them on that.

Back in the realms of wild speculation, let's suggest that perhaps it will likely include some manner of violent mindless or mind-controlled human, which characters will shoot with guns until they fall over. The original Revelations, ported over fancied-up from Nintendo 3DS, was closer to the series' early days than many recent RE games; hopefully this'll still be along those lines. Of course, for really old Resident Evil, Capcom are also revamping the Gamecube 'REmake' of the series' very first game.

Here, this trailer is seeded with tiny little teases that hardcore fans might enjoy but doesn't really have much for the rest of us:

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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