Sadly, this is not the intergalactic sequel to Brendan's now-deceased column series. Much as we wanted to mix things up with a sassy Elcor sidekick, contractual issues left the whole thing stalled out on the launch pad. So instead, you'll just have to settle for some particularly rebellious Mass Effect 3 multiplayer DLC. Specifically, the Vorcha are making their no-good, law-breaking debut by, er, joining your baddie-smashing squad and cooperating. In addition, Quarians and Ex-Cerberus add two new characters a piece to the fray, with two new maps, three weapons, and a stat-altering persistent gear slot rounding out the package. Best of all, unless you're playing a used (read: impossible on PC) or scandalously acquired copy, it's all free from the get-go.
The Mass Effect 3 blog gave a rundown of the rebellion, which - somewhat shockingly - involves lots of shooting and very little peaceful protest.
"The Rebellion Multiplayer Expansion opens two new fronts against the Reapers: Firebase Jade’s jungle reservoir and Firebase Goddess on Thessia. In-game reinforcement packs now include three new weapons (Reegar Carbine, Krysae Sniper Rifle, Cerberus Harrier) as well as equipment, consumables, and six new characters from species that have lost lives or whole planets to the Reapers: Quarian Engineer and Infiltrator, Vorcha Soldier and Sentinel, Ex-Cerberus Adept and Vanguard. The battle continues!"
Which is an oddly upbeat way to finish that thought after lamenting those species' horrific losses at the hands of a race of sentient Death Stars, but oh well! At any rate, the new weapons and maps sound fairly standard, but an entire new gear slot is a potentially sizable addition depending on how significantly corresponding items affect stats. That said, I suppose it's not entirely unexpected, given that EA and BioWare enjoy receiving money, and their vaguely diabolical reinforcement packs won't stay fresh forever. A new, escort-focused objective, meanwhile, aims to do the same for missions themselves.
Rebellion kicks off on May 29, who's chosen to go by the strange alternate name of "Tuesday" this year - much to the chagrin of adult family members who just don't understand, I'm sure. Honestly, though, does this still interest anyone? I mean, I was briefly hooked back when ME3 first got off the great space loading elevator that is game development, but - thanks to games like Tribes - it was a romance doomed to spinfusor-flavored tragedy. How about everyone else, though? I mean, I can't argue with free content, but are these DLC drips enough to keep you in for any sort of long haul?