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Type your way through hell in The Textorcist, out now

The type of your life

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can banish the unholy spirits festering inside my mortal flesh. The Textorcist snuck out last night, offering couples across the world the chance to spend their Valentine's Day typing rude things at demons while dodging loads of ichor. I just dodged my share of ichor in the free demo, and can confirm that it is ichor worth dodging.

I'll stop typing the word ichor now, promise. Unless I need to banish something.

The titular textorcist is called Ray Bibbia, a priest who prowls Rome's streets (and hangs about by his phone) in search of demons to vanquish. "Unearthly forces are scheming to seize power and subvert the order of the the biggest religious organization in Rome", apparently, so they can't be all that bad.

I've only played for ten minutes, so I can't speak to the game's staying power. I did have fun though, bopping about while hammering at my keyboard. It's a neat balancing act that's open to different approaches: I found myself forsaking the movement keys so I could touch type, then leaping back just before I could get gobbed on.

I still got a lot of gob on me. That meant the words got temporarily obscured, leaving me to either work from memory or just focus on dodging for a bit. I expect later demons will have tricks of their own, and it looks like they'll need to be told off in Latin. I'm SURE there are dead language jokes I could make here, but I can't cogito of sum.

Developer's MorbidWare say you can also play with a gamepad, which they describe as a "rhythm experience" rather than a typing one.

You can grab the demo on Steam, where you'll also find the full game on sale for £10.19/$12.74/€12.74.

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Matt Cox avatar

Matt Cox


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