Wolfenstein Videogame Announcement Bingo

By Alec Meer on May 7th, 2013 at 2:00 pm.

IMAGE UPDATED

Word on the grapevine (Twitter) has it that there’ll be some big, noisy game announcement at 2pm, but at the time of writing I have no idea what it would be because no-one tells me anything. Probably because RPS has insulted pretty much everyone by now, but oh well. In the aim of providing vaguely timely news, I have pre-written the below post ready to have relevant keywords inserted and/or removed once I find out what the game in question is. Let’s see how well I do! Edit – nailed it.

[GAME NAME]WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER is a REMAKE/SEQUEL/REBOOT/RIVAL/
HOMAGE
OF/TO [OLD GAME NAME] WOLFENSTEIN 3D, developed by [COMPANY NAME] MACHINE GAMES and to be published by [COMPANY NAME] BETHESDA.

It will be available on CONSOLES THAT NO-ONE OWNS YET/HOPEFULLY PC TOO/THE OLD CONSOLES. It has ALIENS/ZOMBIES/NAZIS/FOREIGNERS/ROBOTS/MISCELLANEOUS
MONSTERS
in it. It will be out in 2013/2014/2015/WHEN IT’S READY.

[THIS SPACE TO BE FILLED BY STUFF, ONCE I KNOW STUFF.]

Games journalism.

Edit: It’s by MachineGames, some of whom were formerly the Starbreeze team who made Riddick. “Wolfenstein: The New Order is scheduled for release on Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, PlayStation®3 computer entertainment system, PC, and next generation consoles.” It is a first-person shooter. No shit.

Edit 2: Reveal trailer and stuff on Gamespot. “The New Order is set in 1960 after the Nazis won World War II. Gamers play as the familiar American war hero B.J. Blazkowicz and are tasked with launching an “impossible counter-offensive” against the Nazi powers that have taken over the world. Set in Europe, The New Order will have players infiltrating Nazi strongholds and battling legions of enemies, while taking control of “super weapons” that the Nazis have used to dominate earth–”and beyond,” Bethesda teased”.

Edit 3: Ooh, embed code

Late 2013, on PC and stuff.

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132 Comments »

  1. DarkLiberator says:

    Half Life 3? Probably too much to hope for.

    EDIT: Oh boy, another shooter!

  2. c-Row says:

    Is it too early for EA to announce any upcoming Star Wars games?

    • GamerOS says:

      They will probably release a teaser of a logo with Star Wars sound effects as soon as the marketing department has figured out what kind of game they want and what the name will be.

      Outside of some concept sketches someone made on a pasta sauce stained napkin there will be no other assets produced when the announcement is made.

      • c-Row says:

        Ah, the good old times, when companies developed a game and slapped a licence on it afterwards. I miss them.

  3. Chris D says:

    You may post additional pictures if you wish but the bears stay.

    • Bhazor says:

      Bear with it, I’m sure there will be more details soon.

      • The_B says:

        Pity these aren’t arctic bears. It’d be a polarising issue.

      • Chris D says:

        I appear to have inadvertantly started a pun thread. Oh well. I guess it’s ursine of the times.

    • Tams80 says:

      The image is back. The original didn’t have a scratch on the new one.

      • Ultra Superior says:

        I’m glad they’re not posting any grizzly pictures of headshots and such.

  4. brat-sampson says:

    But they announced Plants vs Zombies 2 yesterday…

    • Squirly says:

      I was about to say that PvZ 2 is an infinitely more interesting announcement than Wolfenstein I-thought-we-won-last-time-but-apparently-not-really.

  5. bateleur says:

    Yes! Finally! Preordered. :-D

  6. Capt. Raven says:

    ( ) Boy, am I excited for this game, where can I pre-purchase?

    ( ) They will fuck it up like they did everything else and my love-life. [COMPANY NAME HERE] is essentially satan now!

    pick your favourite.
    Also, I love you guys.

  7. DeanLearner says:

    Previous comment

    Great point POSTER OF PREVIOUS COMMENT! I too signed up at WEBSITE and now make NUMBER CURRENCY a TIMEPERIOD all while working from LOCATION!

    Commenting on Games journalism.

  8. DarrenGrey says:

    Stay classy, RPS.

  9. Hezzy says:

  10. c-Row says:

    Ah, that video made me hope for a parody of the SC2 opening, only with Hitler in a suit instead of Tychus Findlay.

  11. pakoito says:

    Another shooter. Woohoo. They are my favorite Bethesda games.

  12. Chris D says:

    Hmm. Didn’t we already have a remake not so long ago? Wolfenstein may have been groundbreaking in it’s time but in 2013 it’s not like there’s a shortage of games where you can shoot Nazi’s in the face.

    Edit: I should add that there are probably gamers who are genuinely excited about this announcement and I do not begrudge them their enjoyment.

    On the other hand somewhere a PR guy has just said something like. “OK, get ready for the new gaming sensation of the year. Time for the epic reveal. You’ll love this. It’s a first person game…. where you shoot Nazi’s with guns!”

    That guy should be eaten by dogs.

    • pakoito says:

      2009, so we get a remake every 4 years.

      • jmtd says:

        I’m looking forward for the time when the remake-lifecycle shortens to shorter than the game-development lifecycle.

        • Kitsunin says:

          “Okay, we’re almost done with development? Better start working on the sequel. If the game is poorly received we’ll call it a reboot, if the sequel gets delayed we can call it revival, and if we lose the rights we can call it an homage.”

      • Nick says:

        Just like Hollywood!

    • Smashbox says:

      You know what would be AWESOME?

      Rebooting this series with HD, gorgeous art versions of the original assets, in 3D. Cartoony, brightly colored rooms and enemies, big ol’ chunky guns, the animated face/healthbar, secret doors in walls.

      Just keep it really simple and tight. It could turn out so good.

      Just imagine this with chunky, wide high poly, beautifully textured characters http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2009/05/wolfenstein3d052909_580.jpg

      • Bhazor says:

        I agree with every word apart from cartoony.

        Half the fun of the iD games were that they looked like Heavy Metal album covers and had every bullet met with gushes of blood that Evil Dead era Sam Raimi would deem a bit excessive.

        • Smashbox says:

          Oh yeah, blood spray definitely, but don’t bother to make it look real. Red paint.

        • The Random One says:

          Itchy & Scratchy Show cartoony. Happy Tree Friends cartoony. You know. Cartoony.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      I find the new somewhat exciting only in the fact that I like the other shooters these developers have worked on. Mainly Riddick, but the first Darkness wasn’t too bad either. As for the name Wolfenstein, it doesn’t really mean anything at all anymore.

  13. razgon says:

    Aye, I could have sworn the remake was a few years ago – Thats a strange bi-annual thing to do, isn’t it?
    “I see Call of Duty is being remade every year – Lets remake Wolfenstein as well every other year!”

    • Smion says:

      Well, to be fair rebooting it has been the go-to way of making a new Wolfenstein game ever since Wolf3d, seeing how you killed Hitler in that one.
      That said, it’s a shame Raven aren’t doing this one, since they are the best developers of “pure” shooters I can think of.

      • Urthman says:

        “any game featuring Nazis should have Hitler as the final boss. Because, seriously, making a game about Nazis and not having you somehow fight Hitler – whether he lives in a robot suit or flys around in a jet or maybe he’s an armored dracula now or whatever – is retarded. If a game doesn’t let you fight some form of Hitler – for instance, a giant Hitler – then that game will receive a warning sticker”

        — Old Man Murray

  14. djbriandamage says:

    I’m fairly optimistic about this one. Starbreeze did an incredible job of Chronicles of Riddick (not so much on the re-release) and Raven did justice to the last incarnation of Wolfenstein. I feel like id wouldn’t hand this franchise to just anyone.

    I do hope it’ll be released for PC. I have no interest in consoles.

  15. aDemandingPersona says:

    I think you could leave in the zombies/foreigners/misc monsters from the template. Probably even robots or aliens.

  16. tossrStu says:

    A 60s-based Wolfenstein game made with the involvement of several ex-Starbreeze guys? Colour me interested.

    (This could well be based on id Tech 5 btw, for those that care about that kind of thing.)

    • bstard says:

      iD tech5 has a nice feel to it imo. Could make a proper WW2 multi shooter a-la ET, given it’ll get mod support and good netcode.

  17. analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

    Bored of Nazis? Bored of Zombie Nazis? Nazi robots anyone??? Think of all the bits you can buy for a Nazi Robot in a multiplayer game!

    • Spoon Of Doom says:

      After the Nazi robots, we’ll get Nazi pirates.

      Assassin’s Creed 4 plot spoiled? I think so.

      • Nicodemus Rexx says:

        Without meaning to you’ve just pointed out the inevitablilitly that, the further the Assassin’s Creed franchise explores history, the closer we come to a World War II AC game.

        Also, in all probability: “Jumping the Shark.”

  18. FurryLippedSquid says:

    What the fuck was that?

    Props for Hendrix, though.

    • neonordnance says:

      it was FUCKING AWESOME is what it was! Holy Crap!

      I was pretty skeptical when I saw the announcement, ho hum another wolfenstein (though I quite enjoyed Enemy Territory and RTCW), but Holy Crap that trailer was awesome. And then Hendrix comes in from nowhere! And the Nazis have BIG OLD ROBOTS! And B.J. has an awesomely gravelly voice! And from talented devs!

      Ever since I read the Man in the High Castle, I’ve been waiting for someone to make a quality alternate-history game after a Nazi win, and this one looks worthy! Too bad Turning Point sucked.

      If anyone else loves this stuff like I do, check out Fatherland, a 1980′s alternate history movie starring Rutger Haeur as a Nazi detective on the trail of a conspiracy. It’s surprisingly really really good.

  19. RedViv says:

    Some Starbreeze folks, 60s, Wunderwaffen, Wolfenstein’s breed of tech and occult, an aged Blazkowicz… Intriguing.

  20. staberas says:

    There must be some way out of here, Wolfenstein again? haven’t we beaten the Nazis enough cant the video game industry invent a new kind of enemy?

    • analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

      Neoconservatists, oh wait……………..

  21. kwyjibo says:

    Mecha-nazis, just what the doctor (Mengele) ordered.

    Trailer was way to long though, and how much did they have to spend to license that Hendrix clip?

  22. Michael Fogg says:

    In the tumultous times before D-Day
    there once lived a man named B. J.
    With chocholate-box hair and a face like a bear
    and a jacket he picked up on eBay.

    • Grargh says:

      Glorious, thank you!

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      There was a programmer named Carmack
      who wanted to get his sports car back
      to Bethesda he sold
      for bazillions in gold
      but his rockets still crash on the tarmac

      • Michael Fogg says:

        Now this is good, but Carmack doesn’t seem to be involved here…?

  23. serioussgtstu says:

    Go on home little bears, nobody cares about a Wolfenstein reboot.

    • Mr Coot says:

      I care, because I made $100 in the last month working from home and can now afford a Faberge Egg.

      I don’t care enough to grow a mullet and party like it’s the 80s again tho’. Screw Bethesda, they differentially price their stuff to gouge the Oceanic region on Steam so I don’t support any of their titles on principle.

  24. Ninja Foodstuff says:

    Sounds rather dull, but I was never a fan of the series.

  25. Forceflow says:

    This somehow reminds me of the terribly bland Turning Point: Fall of Liberty http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turning_Point:_Fall_of_Liberty

  26. Hodge says:

    Finite bears on RPS? The naysayers are right, this place is going downhill.

    • RedViv says:

      Due to the lacking nature of two-dimensional images you can not accurately verify the endlessness of entities. Criticism should be particular!

    • Bhazor says:

      That is merely the two dimensional projection of some four dimensional bears.

  27. CobraLad says:

    Fun fact: if you change a name, it is teaser to every shooter ever.
    It can be Resistance, Killzone, Iron Ma 3 game of the movie, it can be everything in the world with those generic future robots. Its like designers dont care anymore.

  28. Lagwolf says:

    Eh, color me interested, a lame Wolfenstein game is still better than most every other game going.

  29. Tams80 says:

    These comments need more bear.

  30. BobbyDylan says:

    If it’s mindless action rocket jumping fun, I’m keen.

    If it’s a gritty realistic depiction of blahblahblah….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  31. yobokkie says:

    Epic song choice is epic, now I want to pull out my Hendrix LPs…. apart from that I’ll wait until the game releases before I judge… but seriou?? ok no.. I’ll shut up.

  32. Screwie says:

    Games journalism at its finest.

  33. BurningPet says:

    Hendrix really really didn’t fit in that trailer.

    • baby snot says:

      Kinda like how Hendrix didn’t fit into BSG.

    • Larkington says:

      But Hendrix is dead and so are Nazi’s.

      …I’ll see myself out.

    • Michael Fogg says:

      Looks like the result of a terribly uninspired brainstorming session for ‘iconic 60′ song’. Maybe they should have put ‘The End’ by the Doors instead ;)

      • BurningPet says:

        those trailer directors should take the opposite approach – pick a music and build your trailer on it, not the the other way around.

        They got ze germans, They got giant machines, whats more fitting than rammstein? “Du haus”,Reise Reise, or get super meta and take “Amerika”.

        • Smion says:

          More period appropriate alternative:

        • Grargh says:

          It’s “Du hast”, meaning you have… “du Haus” means you building. Rammstein would have been a perfect fit, though!

          Also, a burning pet killed my awesome mage just last week :(

          • BurningPet says:

            Damn, i blame my recent obsession with Bauhaus for the fault.

            Just wait for the next patch. it will be gods and natural disasters that may kill your heroes.

  34. engion3 says:

    IS IT GONNA BE ON THE IDTECH5 ENGINE!?!

    • Larkington says:

      That you used all caps along with your picture made my day.

  35. DXN says:

    Flippin’ Nazis! With their ways.

  36. alienryes says:

    Kind of ironic to use a song that almost certainly would not have been written if the Nazis HAD won the war…

  37. Snids says:

    Shooters have been a cornerstone of PC gaming since 1993 so I’m not sure why it’s so edgy to be so suddenly tired of them.

    Were there wargamers in 1990 saying “oh it’s another hexagonal recreation of the eastern front? Booo-ring!”

    Oh it’s another sports car with a spoiler eh? Oh and it’s red. With four low profile tyres? and a fast engine? How original!

    • tormos says:

      I feel like the difference here is that the AAA developers have decided that rather than spending all that money on releasing a new shooter every year, they’ll just release the same shooter every year with a new set of DLC

  38. Morlock says:

    So what is id Software working on currently? Is it Doom 4?

    I know that other companies developed the previous X Wolfenstein games, but I would be interested in id’s take on a new version. The only Wolfenstein I enjoyed post-wolf3d.exe was Enemy Territories.

  39. Strutter says:

    I don’t care for the campaign but please make the multiplayer exactly like in RTCW please.

  40. Turkey says:

    They had the opportunity to go down the awesome 60s spy tv-show route and they went with lame alternative history world.

    Imagine a tired old Blazkowicz in a 60s turtleneck blasting hundreds of railing-falling-over minions in an elaborate underground facility in Argentinia only to discover that the secret organisation he’s been pursuing throughout the whole game has been led by the decapitated head of Hitler in a glass jar, fastened to the body of a German shephard.

  41. Smion says:

    Everyone who doesn’t like this announcement is literally worse than Hitler.

  42. CutieKnucklePie says:

    Now Beth Studios needs to announce Fallout 4 and make my day :D

  43. Panda Powered says:

    Scrollbars in a video!? What is this vile sorcery?

  44. Freud says:

    Nazis won the second world war is the vanilla of altered history fiction. It would be nice with some variation.

    • CutieKnucklePie says:

      I always wish they’d go for a more reasonable setting. For example, the Nazis not winning but fighting the Allies to a standstill, holding on to Fortress Europe and North Africa, and subsequently going into a cold war for the next 30-40 years. /nerd

      • cjlr says:

        YES. The two best “Nazis win” scenarios I’ve seen are just that – it’s a matter of them not losing (barely). Which, given the almost ludicrous degree to which their opponents had them overmatched, is about the ‘best’ possible end for the Axis in any case (barring ASBs). And if you DO want to go Guns of the South vs Time Patrol with it, well that’s cool too, but a VERY different kettle of fish.

        Those two best aforementioned works being a), the Children’s War, the J N Stroyer novel, in which the Nazi-Soviet pact holds until nuclear weapons are developed, leading to a three way cold war – which is STILL really handwavey in terms of how the UK is occupied by Germany, and also why Hitler never invaded the Soviets (which was more or less the Nazi raison d’etre); and b), the Anglo-American/Nazi War, a timeline on alternatehistory.com, which involves a rather handwavey Soviet collapse (acknowledged as such by the author), but still leads to the end of the Reich in a Gotterdamerung which makes OTL 1945 look like a walk in the park.

        I blame the Man in the High Castle. If you’re taking ol’ P. K. Dick for your inspiration and thinking its anywhere close to plausible, realistic alternate history – you’re doing it wrong. That so wasn’t the point of that book. Even the characters in the novel know how little sense it makes.

        But, I suppose it’s because, as far as humans go, Nazis are about the safest possible target for a mindless video game.

        Rant over.

    • Low Life says:

      Huh. Not saying you’re wrong (as this could be the fault of my memory), but I don’t remember ever playing a game or seeing a movie with that setting.

    • sabasNL says:

      The Axis could’ve won the war by 1947 (excl. North America) if Hitler wasn’t such a self-brainwashed military idiot.

      In fact, British agents got multiple chances to assasinate Hitler- But Churchill canceled the operation personally because Hitler was what made Germany lose the war. If any of the more “pure” Nazis or one of the military leaders would’ve replaced him, no doubt defeating Germany would’ve been harder. And with the assasination of Der Führer, the German soldiers would only fight back harder as revenge.

  45. Shazbut says:

    What is it that is so good about Wolfenstein 3D that means I should be excited by this?

  46. GreatUncleBaal says:

    The last remake wasn’t bad, actually, although had a little too much backtracking for my liking. I know someone’s already said that “Nazis Win WWII” is a staple in alt history fiction, but I can’t actually think of any games that have done it (though I’m sure there have been), nor any that did it well.
    I suppose it will do until someone announces the fps of “The Man in the High Castle”. :-)

  47. gshauger says:

    Clever article by half

  48. bhlaab says:

    they had to license all along the watchtower because otherwise how else would you know its supposed to be the 1960s

  49. S Jay says:

    Battlestar Gallactica? Cool…