Look, we can’t put this off much longer. I’m putting up a dado rail in the sitting room and if I have to go to B&Q on a Sunday afternoon, you have to go to B&Q on a Sunday afternoon. No lone person deserves that grim hellscape. If it’ll help you steel yourself, here, have a play of MiniDayZ for free. It might not prepare you for a couple furious that the paint-mixer’s out of a particular pigment, but a top-down 2D take on Bohemia’s zombie apocalypse survival sim comes close to the experience.