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Life Simulator 2014: Always Sometimes Monsters Released

Merry role-playing action!

We’re directionless in life. Lost, drifting from day to day, doing the same thing over and over, not really working towards any clear goal. Why oh why would I want to play a ‘real-life’ RPG when every day is grinding misery? Oh! But Always Sometimes Monsters actually has a clear goal, to somehow get across the United States within 30 days to break up the wedding of “your one true love.” So now we can all experience life as a colossal clueless selfish jerk–but one with a goal–as Vagabond Dog’s RPG launched last night.

The game kicks off by kicking you out your apartment, then branches all over the place as you travel across the US, or don’t. You can poke your nose into people’s lives, try to earn money to keep going, and perhaps slip into dark and illegal places as you become more desperate. Because yes, while it does look and sound all cutesy retro RPG-y–shock horror–that’s all a juxtaposition to make the unpleasantness more unpleasant.

The game’s content warning, for example, explains that it deals with “racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, mental health, sexual assault, child abuse, animal abuse, drug abuse, and suicide.”

Or maybe your playthrough will somehow be all sunny and lovely! I couldn’t tell you quite how it branches, but suspect it leans towards the dark. The game lets you decide your character’s race, gender, and sexuality, and this’ll all play into the story too.

Always Sometimes Monsters will cost you £5.99 on the Humble Store, £6.29 on Steam (and that’s including a 10% launch week discount), or, er, $8.99 on GOG.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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