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Hitman: The Congressman Now On The Loose

Straight out of an Agatha Christie adaptation

This is your friendly reminder that the second Elusive Target (a limited time, no do-overs mission) should now be live in Hitman [official site]. Unless you’ve been stupidly efficient and somehow killed whoever it is on spawn already.

Well, I say “whoever it is” but they’ve called the mission “The Congressman” so I’m guessing you’re taking out a congressman and from the picture he seems like a sort of jowly hat-wearer who you might find on a foreign vacation in a Poirot mystery.

Alex Spencer was a big fan of the Elusive Targets but if you, like me, are too stressed by the idea of a limited time mission and the potential for failure, I can suggest an alternative course of action. If you are/were a regular listener to The Bugle podcast you might remember the long-running joke about exclusive access to previously-unknown John Grisham masterwork, The Congressman’s Penis.

This particular bit is more of an exercise in determination than a pleasant listen (like every single one of Andy Zaltzman’s pun runs), but I would thoroughly recommend a weekend listening to back-episodes of the show, either in its “The Times” iteration or the independent one. It’s been basically in cryosleep since John Oliver’s career exploded in the US.

Anyway, The Congressman will be on the loose in Sapienza for 48 hours from 2pm CEST which is 1pm UK time I think. As with the previous target, you’ll only have one chance at the mission. The mission does not take account of the Bank Holiday weekend in the UK so you’ll have to find something else to do on Monday.

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Philippa Warr

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