Quantic Dream's line of PlayStation-exclusive story 'em ups continue to trickle onto PC, with 2013's Beyond: Two Souls arriving today. This is the one where Ellen Page is pals with a spooky ghost and Willem Dafoe plays his usual creepo weirdman. This is a rare game where Quantic Dream realise that the 'muffed this one right up' outcomes of their quick-time events are far more entertaining than doing it right, and your mischievous ghostmate is always keen to do the worst thing in every scenario, should you want him to. The game quietly urges you to smash everything and ruin every social engagement, so go for it.
Beyond skips across years in the life of Ellen Page and her ghostpal, across their times in a government lab, their days as a psychic superspy, their time on the run after Willem Dafoe gets all weird, and the time they meet Native Americans who are well down with all that spooky shit because David Cage can't help himself. Well done, David. Take a bow. You've done it again.
It's tosh. Quantic games all are. Always. But I do fondly recall taking the opportunities to make it a wacky sitcom where Ellen Page just wants to live a normal life but her ghostmate won't let her. The game will chide you for following the naughty options it offers, but a ghost dunnit so it's hardly my fault leave it out Cage you're not my real dad.
Jay Castello, our weekend editor, will be telling us all Wot She Thinks of Beyond soon. I actually don't know wot she thinks, so colour me curious. Our Heavy Rain review from Liz Lanier following that Quantic game's recent PC debut was far more forgiving than myself. I am willing to concede some people like these games. They still would be better with laugh tracks.
Next on the list is Detroit: Become Human, the clumsy allegory for racism in America which David Cage swears blind isn't about racism or owt so stop asking okay. It too is bad, but worth it for the daffy robonarc who lick objects to analyse them. Lick everything, Connor, you sweet little idiot.