If a joke's worth telling, it's worth grinding into dust. I don't know whether I'm referring to Square Enix still using the name 'Final Fantasy' after dozens of games or to me dragging this hoary old jape out every year. "Wake up, joke!" I yell, kicking it in the side. "It's time for me to tell you." The joke mutters and closes its eyes tighter. "I will tell you and you will be hilarious just like you always are!" I insist.
Did I mention that Square Enix are porting the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy to PC? Oh. Well, they are.
Final Fantasy XIII will arrive on PC on October 9, a touch under five years after its console release. Square Enix say Final Fantasy XIII-2 and Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII will follow "by spring 2015". Yes, the names are confusing. FFXIII is a trilogy within the Fabula Nova Crystallis Final Fantasy hexalogy which is itself part of the Final Fantasy quinquadecology which also includes etc.
Pre-orders are open on Steam and the Square Enix store, with a small 10% discount bringing it down to £9.89. Pre-ordering's a mug's game and all that but hey, maybe you played it on console and know you'd want it.
In other Final Fantasy port news, Squeenix last week released Final Fantasy IV on PC. It's a port of the 3D remake for Nintendo DS that recently appeared on pocket telephones rather than ye olde sprite-based game, though. 's on Steam for £10.99 if you wannit.
Here's a peek at the final part of the XIII trilogy, Lightning Returns: