Reader dearest, I fall upon my sword before you. I hurl myself upon it. I take a running start and leap upon my sword. Through the teeth and past the gums, look out guts here it comes and I'm split from the skull down, intestines and shame and regret and apologies spill steaming upon the ground, dissolving into putrid black mucus the cold earth swallows to fester and feed the blooms of so many future mistakes.
Dearest reader o reader dear, while I was off tromping around lochs on my hols earlier this month, Double Fine shared a trailer peeking at Full Throttle Remastered [official site] and it's taken me this long to notice. THE SHAME.
Full Throttle Remastered is a revamp of the 1995 LucasArts adventure game, which Double Fine head honch Tim Schafer directed back when he was pals with Captain Skywalker. Double Fine have redrawn (and rerendered) the graphics, remastered the sound and music, built a new user interface, and added a commentary track. It'll also offer the option to mix-and-match the remastered and original art and whatnot if you want. Beneath that, it's still the same Full Throttle warts and all.
Yes, some puzzles are dull and the combat is terrible, but I do still like its weird almost-post-apocalyptic world of tough bikers and big bikes, not to mention the relationship at its heart. Honestly, I think I'll play it with the original art. I don't feel nostalgic pangs for pixel art (pre-3dfx 3D is my bag, obvs) but, as in Day of the Tentacle Remastered, the smooth lines look worse to me.
Hey, it'll be good to have Full Throttle sold far and wide again. It's due in 2017.