Squallout: Final Fantasy VIII Now On Steam

I played a lot of Final Fantasies during my rock-bottom console gamer phase. Final Fantasy VIII was not one of them. Well, that's not entirely true. I tried a demo disc from some old PlayStation magazine once, and it chugged, whimpered pitifully, and died on me about ten minutes into the opening cut-scene. Beyond that, I heard too many mixed things and decided to get my fantastical fix elsewhere. Did I make a boo-boo, though - perhaps even the biggest boo-boo of all, Boo-boo-aga? If so, just say the word and I'll duct-tape a gun to a sword, don a poofy, pouty coat, and load up the newly released Steam version of FFVIII.

It's exactly what it sounds like: Final Fantasy VIII, but, you know, on Steam. Also, the epic tale of love, loss, and hair gets some additional features for our hallowed platform of choice:

"Optimized for modern high-definition PCs and fully integrated with the Steam platform, this version includes a range of new features such as a Magic Booster that enables players to power up their spells, Steam cloud support, and 45 integrated achievements to encourage players to explore various facets of the game. Also included is the Chocobo World, previously unavailable to Western players on the original release."

Chocobo World! How can Squall stay all mopey and sad when there are infinite bright-as-the-summer-sun horse birds, ripe for frolicking with? I guess we'll find out.

Speaking of Squall, while - again - I have never played Final Fantasy VIII, I know for a fact that this image is incontrovertibly the best thing to emerge from it. Shame that dumb HD-optimized graphics will probably ruin it. Horrifically jagged 32-bit polygons for life, yo.