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Steam Charts: Congealed Edition

Constellation pyjamas

Have you ever stopped to wonder what life is really all about? To get to the bottom of why we exist, what our purpose is, where this is all heading?

Yeah, me too. But here is this week's Steam Charts:

10. XCOM 2: War of the Chosen & Tactical Legacy Pack

Good dentists are hard to find on [doesn't look up where XCOM is set]

You are forgiven if you are confused. Because life is confusing. We're bombarded with so many views - political, religious, scientific, aesthetic - that it's often hard to know how to think. So let me, at the very least, explain the confusion of what bit of XCOM 2 is in the charts:

It's the DLC for the expansion pack for the sequel to the reboot of the franchise. Got it? Excellent. At least about this we can be clear.

Right now there are big sales on XCOM 2 (that end on Tuesday 16th), meaning the core game is down 67% to £11.54, or your regional play-money. The War Of The Chosen expansion (which requires the main game) is down 40% to £21, and with that you get last week's DLC DLC, Tactical Legacy Pack thrown in. Or, if you already owned those two, you get the pack for free until Dec 3rd. I mean, you get to keep it forever, for free, if you add it before then. Gosh it's good to have something clear, isn't it?

Or you can bundle the whole lot together, get all the above and the Resistance Warrior Pack (honestly I've no idea, Alec's away) all for £38-ish. Until the end of tomorrow. After which it'll probably involve solving quadratic equations in Somalian.

9. Frostpunk

Calling things 'x-punk' is now verboten. Tell your friends.

27% off, in case you wondered. Nice times for 11 bit, who just need to knock a fraction off this to see it popping back into the charts each time. I guess that's the sort of results you can expect if you manipulate the system by making a really good game and then selling it at a really reasonable price to begin with. Scum.

7. 太吾绘卷 (The Scroll of Taiwu)

Honestly, I've no better idea what this is myself.

Increasingly not sure what to do with these two impenetrably Chinese games occupying the middle of the charts. Is this forever? We've got our best people working on it to fathom this out for you, you'll be pleased to learn. In the meantime, I just like looking at the screenshots and imagining the mad version of Q*bert I've decided this definitely is.

6. 中国式家长 / Chinese Parents

Sure, sure, of course.

You know what this reminds me of? The heyday of the Nintendo DS. Squillions of games coming out every week, almost all of them Japanese-only, and mystifyingly interesting. Scrolling through screenshots of "ASONDE SHOGI GA TSUYOKU NARU!! GINSEI SHOGI DS" or the like and being absolutely none the wiser as to what it's about. "Hmmm, is it Mahjong but you're a grieving dad, and there are evil spirits from space?" That's pretty much how I'm perceiving this new Chinese equivalent.

5. Grand Theft Auto V (Flibble Glibble Pants)

Eventually I hope that there are so many running jokes for this one game that the internet snaps.

What’s Another Thing You Could Buy Instead Of GTA V Again?

These glow-in-the-dark constellation pyjamas

3. Plunkbat

Let's have some Marble Sounds:

Watch on YouTube

2. Monster Hunter: World

Just makes you want to rush out and buy it, eh?

OH COME ON. This was down to #5 last week. I thought it had finally had its day! But no, it's back up again, and I'm somehow still required to think of new things to say about a game I absolutely flat-out don't have time to play.

So instead I thought we could celebrate this official screenshot, deliberately selected by Capcom to represent their game, and be used by the press to promote it. Good work, everyone involved!

1. Assassin’s Creed Odyssey

This is from a forthcoming exhibition called 'Spartans In Flight'

A disappointing week for Assassin's Creed Odyssey this week, only occupying three out of ten spots in the charts, rather than last week's four.

But I'm sure we can all look forward to reading more absolutely meaningless stories about how this latest version sold fewer boxed copies as if it's proof of a decline in the series, like writing that cassette player sales have fallen so music's over.

Meanwhile, here's Noa having a splendid time with the game:

The Steam Charts are compiled via Steam's internal charts of the highest grossing games on Steam over the previous week.

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