Posts Tagged ‘free games’

Free Loaders: Nun Shall Pass

These nuns are baking buns

A pack of vicious free games were unleashed in a densely populated area of the internet this week, according to local police. The bizarre attack comes just days after a conglomeration of sabateurs met at the ‘Global Game Jam’, a meeting of the free games underworld thought by experts to be held somewhere on Earth. Although no single group has claimed responsibility for the attack, it is thought that many of the perpetrators were themselves killed in the ensuing chaos. “It was horrible,” said one witness, “there were bodies everywhere. And none of them had any money on them.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Cookie Clicker: A Pip And Alice Chat

Cookie Clicker is a game about clicking cookies. A recent update (the first since 2014) tempted Alice and Pip back into the (dough) fold. They’ve uncovered horrors beyond all imagining, not least Pip’s competitive cookie streak.

I have been playing Cookie Clicker [official site] for a few days now. I thought I was doing well. My “legacy meter” which I don’t understand is ticking up nicely, I’m spewing out 42.4m cookies per second, there’s a lot of stuff I buy and yet ALICE IS ON 89.3M CPS. This is awful and will not stand.

Pip: Alice, what am I doing wrong and how can I beat you at biscuits? Or am I doomed to failure, like my unicorn turd cookie experiment?

Read the rest of this entry »

Towering: Consortium Free Until Noon Tomorrow

Consortium [official site] is a fascinating game and I’ll go into a proper sulk if the sequel’s Kickstarter fails. Things aren’t looking good, with $310,000 left to raise and only a week of the campaign left. The original is an immersive sim that feels like a version of the ‘single city block’ game. One location and characters that seem to exist and act even when the player isn’t there to watch them. To raise awareness of the sequel and its potential qualities, the original is freely available from GOG until 1:59pm GMT tomorrow.

Read the rest of this entry »

Five Nights At Freddy’s World Re-Released For Free

FNaF World [official site], the RPG spin-off from animatronic scare ‘em up Five Nights at Freddy’s, has returned and is now free. Creator Scott Cawthon released it in January, a month earlier than he’d previously planned, and some responses to the game made him rethink that. Really rethink that. He pulled the game from sale, decided to refund the $10 of everyone who bought it, and said he’d work to improve it before re-releasing it for free. Which he now has. That’s fondness for one’s players. Happy almost-Valentine’s-Day!

Read the rest of this entry »

Consume! Produce! Click! Cookie Clicker Version 2 Out

Have you figured out how you’ll procrastinate at work today? Stop. I’ll tell you: you’ll be clicking on cookies in the new version of Cookie Clicker [official site].

I still fondly remember when the feeling of “What is this and why do I keep clicking seriously what’s wrong with me?” began shifting to “Oh no, what… what’s happening? Why are they so… fleshy?” as a horror story unfolded through clicking to bake imaginary cookies. After a long stretch in beta, version 2.0 of the free browser-based idle game is now live. Look, I just want to see what’s new, and then I’ll stop, okay.

Read the rest of this entry »

Free Loaders: Packing Heat In Latin America

I really am in Costa Rica. I am not just doing one of my 'jokes'.

Hola, amigos. This week’s edition is coming to you from San josé, Costa Rica. As some of you may know, my fearless and tenacious reporting of the Ludum Dare collective and other seditious elements of the free games community has forced me into hiding in Central America. But I will not falter. I will continue to report on these dastardly events, these subversive groups of juegistas, and these craven games, which cost exactly zero dollars. Long live the free press!

Read the rest of this entry »

Need For Speed: Most Wanted Free On Origin

Crimes.

“It’s Burnout Paradise 2,” John declared in his Wot I Think of 2012’s Need for Speed Most Wanted [official site]. “It’s Burnout Paradise: This Time There Are Cops.” I’m wondering: gosh, how ever did this game pass me by? Maybe it was speeding – ha ha!

Good news for me (and possibly you!): NFS Most Wanted is free on Origin right now.

Read the rest of this entry »

Free Loaders: Just Chill Out And Be A Raindrop For A Sec

Dear free loader, if you are reading this it means I am either dead or safe in an undisclosed location in the Central American countryside. Either way, I am unable to communicate. Please find enclosed several free games for your clandestine purposes. I know that we have not always seen eye to eye, free loader, but I offer you these digital goods as a gesture of good faith. If used correctly they will inspire millions. Soon we will be free from tyranny. Free from the yolk of the dollar and the Great British pound. Soon, ALL games shall be free.

Except the ones on PSN. Those will still be £59.99.

Read the rest of this entry »

Free Loaders: Playas Only Love You When They Playin’

'RhiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaNON!'

Hello there! I’m sorry to bother you like this at your computer screen but I have a cart full of free games here and I heard you were interested. Of course, have a look! Yes, some of them are falling apart, but some of them are precious and rare. What? Oh no, I wouldn’t take that one if I were you. Well, yes, I suppose it does have some intriguing chiselwork. Are you sure? I’m afraid I won’t be back for some time. How much? Ha ha! Didn’t you hear me? It’s free! Anyway, I will be off now. Goodbye, stranger. And… good luck.

*Dark Souls laugh*

Read the rest of this entry »