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Posts tagged “Steam Charts”

Feature: The fat lady sings

Steam Charts: Put Out Of Its Misery Edition

This is, really and truly, the last ever Steam Charts. Which, I realise, is something I've said before. More than once. But this time it's really true! Erk, I'm not really sure how to convince anyone of this. I'm the boy who cried last ever Steam Charts.

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Feature: Forever and ever, amen

Steam Charts: Schteam Schmarts Edition

The results are in! The links between the longevity of Steam Charts and the decreases in violent crime, the improvement of sanitary water supplies, and sudden global drops in serious health issues, are no coincidence at all! To quote from the paper recently published in Nature, "Causal links have been shown connecting Rock Paper Shotgun's Steam Charts articles to a remarkably number of positive worldwide…

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Feature: Dream Hearts

Steam Charts: Recycled Air Edition

There is nothing worse for a world-leading chartologist (PhD) like me than a Steam sale. All sense is lost, all decorum thrown to the wind, as the same few games come stamping all over everything like an uninvited six year old whose parents let him go to bed whenever he wants. And we're entering Sale Season, people. It's going to get stampy.

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Feature: You won't feel a thing

Steam Charts: Pulling Teeth Edition

The Schwarzschild radius of the Steam Charts continues to shrink as the effects of the Universal Collapse take greater impact on our daily lives. Read on if you want to know how to protect your family from complete atomic devastation.

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Feature: Hectocotylus

Steam Charts: Free Diving Edition

People, I face a dilemma. (Great cars, them Dilemmas. - Ed) This week Destiny 2 takes up an astonishing five out of ten spaces on the Charts. So what's a professional games journalist of 20 years experience to do? Write ten octopus facts in less detail but with more jokes, or six more involved entries perhaps better celebrating our cephalopod friends? I've opted for the…

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Feature: The poisonous chalice

Steam Charts: Suspicious Mole Edition

Everything you thought you knew to be true has been undermined by the Great Revelation. Please read on to learn about your new role in society, and how this affects the games you will be allowed to play.

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Feature: Time flies

Steam Charts: Spooky Action Edition

As planet Earth continues its inexorable trajectory toward the encroaching black hole, and ever more aspects of our daily lives are being affected, even the weekly Steam Charts are feeling its affliction. This may seem a more trivial aspect of our final months, but I believe it's vital to recognise the severity of the impact here to better understand the wider implications for how deeply…

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Feature: Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt

Steam Charts: All This Happened Edition

What’s Another Thing You Could Buy Instead Of GTA V Again? A Jurassic Park VHS tape lamp

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Feature: Click through for your chance to win an article!

Steam Charts: Falsifiable Evidence Edition

Exciting news! Steam Charts is proud to announce it's to be an Epic exclusive! From now on you can read your favourite article about the top selling games on Steam exclusively on the Epic Store! But don't worry, long-term readers - you'll still be able to read the articles right here on RPS, after just one year. Everyone's a winner!

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Feature: The ITV Chart Show for the modern citizen

Steam Charts: Paternal Doubt Edition

URGENT: Disparaging words have been said about the game you like by people who like the other game you don't like.

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Feature: Do as the man says and everything will be OK

Steam Charts: Do As You’re Told Edition

Hi, it's me! Yeah! No, nothing's wrong, all's good. I was just calling to see if you wanted some Steam Charts? ... STEAM CHARTS ... Yeah, that's right. No, no it's not. You don't? Oh, um, I already sent them over.

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Feature: A lighthouse in the bleak horror of reality

Steam Charts: Silly String Edition

Usually after the Steam summer sale horror show, the Steam Charts offer us some respite in the lull between AAA releases and allow us to celebrate the successful release of a bunch of indie games. But as you'll have noticed if you've looked at 2019, nothing follows the rules of sense and decorum any longer. So it is that last week and this, we've had…

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Feature: That feeling when you realise you left the light at home.

Steam Charts: Summery Summary Edition

It's never a good sign when Skyrim's back in the Charts. It means mischief is afoot. And not the good kind. In this case, it's Bethesda's Quakecon sale, meaning a whole bunch of the dreariest of usual suspects return to droop our eyelids and weary our souls. And Nier and Flibble Glibble Pants are both on sale yet again. In fact, this week's top 10…

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Feature: Cream Sharts

Steam Charts: Carpathian Edition

Here's a fascinating fact: Steam Charts has never won an award. I KNOW. If there's nothing else that demonstrates the corruption of the entire system, it's this. High quality, groundbreaking, Woodwardian journalism, are just some of the terms I use to describe this most esteemed of columns. And yet the silverware shelf gathers dust. It's a disgrace.

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Feature: Plop Ten

Steam Charts: Bubbling Trousers Edition

It's another dire old week in Chartland, with the last breaths of the Summer Sale ensuring, with the exception of spots #4 and #5, that all the usual suspects dominate. But we won't let that change us! We're better than this! We're going to have fun anyway!

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Feature: Running it into the ground

Steam Charts: Got The Runs Edition

Yes, yes, it's me. I know, I know, but calm down. While it's obviously very exciting to have a celebrity as handsome and excellent as me writing you some Steam Charts, I'm still just a regular ordinary guy underneath it all. I leap into my trousers both legs at once, same as anyone else.

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