Skip to main content

New Mister Men and Little Miss books are based on Assassin's Creed

Mister Ezio, Little Miss Eivor, and Little Miss Kassandra

It's a little-known fact that Ubisoft generate product ideas by writing game names, mediums, target audiences, and such on scraps of paper, popping them into a big hat, then drawing a handful to discover their next big hit. This foolproof system recently produced the combination of [Assassin's Creed] [Book] [For Children, But Really For Parents] [Mister Men crossover], leading Ubisoft yesterday to announce a series of Mister Men and Little Miss books starring the murderers of Assassin's Creed.

"By mixing the Assassin's Creed sense of adventure and history with the colorful and delightful designs of the Little Mr. Men, these books will appeal to both young and adult readers," Ubisoft say in their announcement. "Follow Mister Ezio, Little Miss Kassandra, and Little Miss Eivor, as they each try to complete their own missions in the first three books of this series!"

They're illustrated by the son of creator Roger Hargreaves, who took over the series after his father's death. Adam Hargreaves later sold the rights, but he still draws 'em. I believe the Hello Kitty crew at Sanrio own the series these days, licensing it out for this and that.

Presumably these books will be bought with great delight by the sort of parents who swaddle their children in merch. After changing the child's Storm Pooper nappy and tossing the old one in a Resident Evil nappy bin with a biohazard symbol and spraypainted zombie warning, they'll dress the littl'un (who they refer to as a 'foundling') in a Hufflepuff school uniform onesie, pop on the knitted cap with Legolas ears, then snuggle up inside a tauntaun sleeping bag with a sippy cup shaped like a Diablo mana potion to read Little Miss Eivor, watched over by a folksy wooden sign which reads "Laugh, love, live long and prosper".

Mister Men and Little Miss have been a pop culture trash fire for a while. Along with books based on Doctor Who, it has a "For Grown-Ups" line including books about office parties and online dating.

Ubisoft announced a load of other new Assassin's Creed novels, graphic novels, and things yesterday too. These are more conventional. But who knows, maybe tomorrow they'll draw [Rabbids] [Beach] [Formalwear] or even [Beyond Good & Evil] [Video Game].

Watch on YouTube

Read this next