Rock, Paper, Shotgun

I’m ten. I’m sitting in the solvent-soaked school art room doodling, when my friends sneak in. They’ve got something amazing to show me. It’s a little dwarf made out of lead, and Fat Winnie has just bought it off Big-Nosed Will, who actually painted it. It’s like got an AXE! Will’d mainly used red paint on it (“For the blood” he says. He now works in advertising) but it’s soooo cool. This is the start.
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Warhammer 40,000: Dark Millennium Online is looking like one of the highlights of GamesCom, and we’ll have an interview turning up pretty soon. In the meantime you can check out this new trailer, which details the first playable faction: The Imperium Of Man. Not much of a surprise, granted. But playable Adeptus Mechanicus? That’s my first character already sewn up, then. Lots more footage below, go: behold.
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I own a lot of very geeky things. A glance around the bedroom that I laughably like to call an office when I need to pretend I’m a real person says many things about me. The ancient pile of six IDE hard drives. The troublingly large Optimus Prime toy lurking atop my bookcase. The expensive Pro-Ject turntable I really couldn’t afford, and which looks in need of yet another dusting. The battered collection of 1980s comic trade paperbacks. The tiny wax candle in the shape of Stalin’s head. The iPhone. The cat. The other cat. Yet the one thing that truly gleams like a beacon of undying manchildishness is the venerable boardgame known as Talisman. It’s a fascinatingly, unashamedly uncool thing, forever existing in a halfway house of awe and contempt. It’s proto-MMO fantasy grind, requiring a simultaneous dedication to the twin social no-nos of statistics and pretending to be an elf. It’s wonderful. It’s monstrous. Why isn’t it a PC game?
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As anyone who listened to the last podcast I did will know, my last couple of weeks have been based around rushing to the door at the slightest sound of postman. Perpetual disappointment which was made unperpetual yesterday when the ridiculously beautiful Space Hulk 3rd edition turned up. Geeking out even more than me was Ex-Consolevania Now-Downtimetown Rab Florence, who has recorded 10 of the finest high-geek ranting I’ve seen in quite a while. You’ll find it below. It features cardboard comparison and kissing, vocoded songs about overwatch and close up of space-marine crotches. It’s quite the thing. I justify this as an RPS post because i) Space Hulk was the basis of the fine game Alec wrote about previously and ii) I’m incorrigible.
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