Middle-earth: Shadow of War turns spider Shelob all sexy

If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely often wished that spiders were hot babes. “This giant spider is okay,” you thought while watching the biggun in Peter Jackson’s And Then And Then, “but I wouldn’t kiss her. That’s far too many eyes for me to stare lustily into. I wouldn’t stroke her spinnerets. And she’s not even wearing a dress for thigh to cheekily peek though.” Mate, we’re in luck, you and I: Shelob is back in Middle-earth: Shadow of War [official site], and this time she is hot. Here, watch Shelob take human form to be all magic and cryptic:

She’s one of those there uneasy allies, granting visions of what the baddies are up to but probably not holding your best interests to heart. She is, after all, a possibly-demigodlike honking great spider. Well, when she’s not a sexy lady. Your ghostmate Celebrimbor doesn’t seem best impressed.

Bleeding Cool’s recap of Shadow of War’s San Diego Comic-Con panel over the weekend says that Shelob is voiced by Pollyanna McIntosh. Independent horror fans may know her as the protagonists of Let Us Prey and The Woman, and apparently she’s in some television show named The Walking Dead.

Middle-earth: Shadow of War is due October 10th, made by Monolith and published by Warner Bros. If you’d like, you can prepare for the launch by importing your Nemesis and dearest friend from Shadow of War.

50 Comments

  1. WombatDeath says:

    Good, there’s a definite shortfall in spiderporn fiction these days. Clever of this lot to have spotted a gap in the market.

  2. RaunakS says:

    Well since LOTR canon has been cannoned to death in this series already I suppose this doesn’t make much difference anymore. Plus, considering Shelob is the last and most powerful of Ungoliant’s daughter she technically could have the power of illusion.

    • icarussc says:

      Ahahaha, cannoned to death, I love it. Quite true. I keep expecting the next reveal to be a Game of Thrones crossover or something.

    • Bluestormzion says:

      Honestly, I just want them to say this is a spinoff universe, a “Shadow of Tolkien” if you would. That way they’re not caught up in the whole “we need to make this lead into LotR” thing that keeps hamstringing them, and ALSO frees them from people shouting “THIS ISN’T LIKE THE BOOOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!!”

      • Snowskeeper says:

        I mean, I wouldn’t have a problem with it if they didn’t keep saying they were trying to stay as close to the books as possible. They clearly aren’t, so this narrative they’re weaving pisses me off.

      • Behrditz says:

        They should just start it off with the mirror of Galadriel, talking about how it shows things that have been, things that have not yet come to pass, and sometimes, things that might have been if not for the actions of a few. Zoom into mirror, setting up the “alternate reality” of this story that could have happened.

    • fish99 says:

      I feel like the best way to play LotR games is to try to forget they’re supposedly based on LotR.

    • Urthman says:

      This is possibly the best video game adaptation of a book since Dante’s Inferno!

    • elevown says:

      You’d think it would of used it in entrapping Frodo & Sam etc – but I guess it could. Ungoliant was certainly WAY stronger than Sauron – even Melkor (the evil god Sauron was a follower of) had to run for it when she went after him for the Silmarillion, if I remember. I think Shelob is more a distant descendant than a direct daughter, though probably the last major descendant. (Certainly more powerful than the giant mirkwood spiders who also probably originate in Ungoliant).

      • Chairman_Meow says:

        Shelob is the last living descendant of Ungoliant. The Mirkwood spiders are her spawn. She pre-dates Sauron in Middle Earth.

  3. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    I’m just playing through Shadows of Mordor (and enjoying it a lot), and judging from all the little comments about Shelob in that game, they’ve been planning this for a while.
    (Unless she does pop up in the last third of SoM, I’ve not quite finished yet)

    • Askis says:

      She doesn’t, at least not in the main campaign, haven’t finished the two DLC campaigns, but I doubt she’s in those.

    • Maxheadroom says:

      I never finished the first one but decided to play through it again since I hear there’s some sort of Nemesis System carry over to the new one?

      Think i reached pretty much the same point i did last time though and finding my interest waning again. I do all the side bits, unlock all the towers and kill most of the dudes in Sauron’s army, only to then be taken to a new area and have all that progress reset.

      I guess I could just blast through the main story and ignore everything else but if the new one is going to be more of the same I think ill be burned out on it by then

  4. BooleanBob says:

    There’s something about sexy spiders that has a profound, uh, affect on me. I suspect it must have been a formative experience watching the James and the Giant Peach adaptation.

    Would also explain the weakness for French accents..

    • Kitsunin says:

      Strangely, this never even crossed my mind as a fetish. Spiders seem to be even less popular than snakes within the furry community, or else I’m sure I would have (actually for some reason snakes are pretty popular, what’s up with that? (I know what, and it’s extremely weird)).

    • mouton says:

      This is exactly what Widowmaker in Overwatch is. She is a painfully stereotypical femme fatale with spider theme and a french accent.

  5. Spacewalk says:

    Finally, a game for leg men!

  6. Skandranon says:

    Well, I can’t say this isn’t an improvement.

    Though, to be fair, I’m deathly terrified of small spiders, so a giant spider turning into a vaguely threatening vampire lady is several steps up any way you look at it.

  7. jellydonut says:

    link to imgur.com oddly relevant

  8. stringerdell says:

    Who doesn’t love a sexy spider? apart from maybe a fly

  9. DThor says:

    My LOTR does not include Shelob as a sexxxy llllayyydeee…

    but I’ll allow it.

    I felt the masterful Bored of the Rings correctly renamed her Schlob, since really, all she did was constantly stuff her gob with all manner of orcsies and humansees. At least they could have gotten Rosanne for the voice…

  10. Puppaz says:

    “Amazing chest ahead.”

    • ZJVavrek says:

      Thank you, this is what I came down to the comments to find. Sexy-Shelob has a name, and it’s Quelaag.

    • TheBookThief says:

      “Beware of bleeding” Dark souls comments are often times entertaining, when they don’t try to kill you(sometimes even then).

  11. rockbiter68 says:

    Okay, not to bash on this game at all – because I really enjoyed the first one and I’m sure this one will be just as fun – but I really wish they’d just drop the LotR title and the connection to Tolkien’s universe, because this sort of thing just strikes me as nonsense. Mind, I’m not particularly well-versed in Tolkien’s universe, but from what I’ve read, this conception of Shelob doesn’t really coincide with what was written about her.

    The game would be just as fun if they just pitched it in some generic fantasy universe of their making, because that’s all they’re essentially doing it here, except with a LotR (sorry, “Middle-Earth”) heading. This sort of thing and the overall story (at least from the first one) is pretty rubbish. That being said, the gameplay is fun and the Nemesis system is fantastic, and the game should be jolly good. I just hope they have an option to skip the cut scenes (don’t remember if the first one did or not).

  12. Deviija says:

    They made her into a seductive sexy spider woman? What. Seriously.
    Oh wait, gamez. Of course they did. Meh.

    I wish they dropped the LOTR part of their franchise and instead just claim it is heavily inspired by it. At this point, LOTR is massacred and worn as a flimsy marketing-speak disguise.

    • LuckyStampede says:

      Ironic, because prerelease copies of the first game came with a stipulation that if you stream it, you MUST NOT mention Lord of the Rings at all.

    • modzero says:

      LOTR lore is terrible, bad, and deserves to be massacred.

      …just maybe not in this way, please.

  13. Orphansmith says:

    Let’s be real here,

    The only reason they’re calling it LotR is because they know their shit wouldn’t sell if they made yet another generic fantasy universe. The first game was a fun aside, but this is just stupid.

    If they made the game completely separate from LotR I’d still play it because the first game was fun. So why even bother to cling to a dying franchise?

    • Imperialist says:

      a dying franchise?
      It is probably one of the most popular fantasy properties there is. Also, the most influential in essentially creating High Fantasy.
      It has 3 universally acclaimed and frothed-over films.
      It has 3 good-but-not-great film prequels.
      It has a 10 year old MMO that still is churning away.
      It has a few LEGO games.
      Leonard Nimoy sang the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.
      If by dying you mean “Immortal and living in a pocket realm across the sea” then…yeah, you are right on target.

  14. rustybroomhandle says:

    Stolen from Twitter: “Shelob me… Shelob me not…”

  15. ComradeSnarky says:

    I mean….at least she has clothes on? That’s progress, I guess.

  16. Laurentius says:

    If first game could get away with “bloodthirsty revange, oh yeah!” as main take from Tokien books about Middle Earth, then sexy Shelob is probably fine as well. In soem ay I pity Monolith that have to work with franchise thay must literally hate. I can imagine butchering Tolkien’s ideas that much if you don’t hate them.

    • Hedgeclipper says:

      I imagine they’re too busy working on blood spatter algorithms and the research consisted of getting the intern to binge watch the movies and tell them what its all about.

  17. gwathdring says:

    A lot of weird things happen in Tolkien’s universe, and the “lore” is rather all over the place.

    I guess I’m unsure what folks talking about this not being True to the Lore or whatever want out of a Lord of the Rings game.

    Do they want, essentially, a film with quick time events that follows the book perfectly? Or something so disconnected from the stories people are familiar with that they could just as easily take place south of Winterfell as south of Bree?

    I think this is the better mix, really. Familiar characters, themes, creatures, places and stories … and a willingness to stretch things here and there. Illusions and transformations are by no means alien to Tolkien’s world and Shelob is descended from a very, very powerful creature.

    The Femme Fatale angle is the only bit that annoys me but it’s not as explicitly her role in the clip as I was expecting from the comments so maybe it won’t end up being an issue; I’m not terribly optimistic as neither the source material nor the first game really give women an interesting role.

    I’m all for interesting new fantasy IPs … but if you’re going to use the trappings of Tolkien around your fantasy IP, why not pay the piper and give fans familiar places, creatures and characters to enjoy while you’re at it? Plenty of fresh fantasy IPs are just as incongruous and boring, and we don’t have the boon of familiar faces to liven the mood.

  18. FordTruck says:

    So why in the world is no one innovating on the NEMESIS system, what is with the fetish of generic enemies….where are my heroic devs that will make generic enemies that kill the player more renowned …with all these roguelike games I would assume those guys should build up in rank and turn into elite enemies… I mean i see it here and there with Champions Online, and that one game where you go up the tower

    but Mordor does it the best.

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