Steam charts: it’s the end of the world

Wotcha gang. Your old chum Alice here for this week’s charts, as everyone else has been fired. Out of a cannon. Blown into a jillion little pieces. Hence the Apocalyptic yellow tone to the skies today. Hold your breath when outside, and hold your breath while we count down last week’s top ten of the top-selling games on Steam.

10. Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands

A free weekend trial coupled with a 50% discount bring Ubisoft’s open-world imperialist fantasy into the top ten. Brendy’s Wildlands review did not dig it but hey, it lets people lark about with their mates in a lush murderjungle and that can be fun for the right price.

9. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Though conduct and morals differ wildly across the world, one thing is agreed to be globally offensive: sticking your chewed gum in someone else’s shower.

8. Total War: Warhammer II

I am glad Total War has wandered so far from historical warfare. Swordmen and arrowplingers can only be differentiated in so many ways, and playing in a wacky fantasy world opens up so many more design possibilities. I am quite curious to see what developers The Creative Assembly might learn from this for future games.

Suggestion: a historical Total War game which leans into Apocalyptic prophecies. Shock horror, they were right and the end is nigh. Nations clash, collapse, and coalesce as omens develop into terrible demonic doom.

7. Grim Dawn: Ashes of Malmouth

Grim Dawn players like clicking so much that they’ve clicked all over the buy button for the action-RPG’s first full expansion. Ashes of Malmouth introduces new zones, enemies, items, character classes, and whatnot. I don’t have the time and mindset for action-RPGs anymore but I do hear good things about Grim Dawn and am always tempted by necromancers.

And in the game.

6. The Evil Within 2

Ooh! Olivia White’s Evil Within 2 review just went up on RPS, and this sounds a good’un:

“The Evil Within 2 feels like something of a departure from the first game, but also an extremely fitting follow-up. Its structure, enemy design, immaculate audio production and constant tension make it one of my favourite survival horror experiences to date, and while it doesn’t push the envelope in terms of providing anything new, it focuses on what it is and attempts to provide a definitive, well-produced classic survival horror experience. It succeeds at this on basically all counts, with the minor combat quibbles doing little to dull the overall experience.”

Yes please!

5. Divinity: Original Sin 2

Larian’s fab fantasy RPG keeps on strong, which is great news. Original Sin 2 is what memory will say old RPGs were (but which they definitely weren’t). It’s mighty impressive in many ways but, to be honest, I’m most delighted by watching poison clouds explode when exposed to fire. It’s the small things in life, isn’t it?

4. Middle-earth: Shadow of War

I’ve not had a go yet but I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s stories about orcs who became bezzies or loathed enemies. I’d love to see these sorts of dynamic personalities in other games. It seems a shame to confine such surprising and delightful life to a game where we end up enslaving it or stabbing it through the forehead. 2019’s hit game will be a Tetris knock-off where rivalries and friendships develop with each tetromino. An L will make you cry, a + will teach you how to love.

3. Cuphead

CUPHEAD!

The mega-pretty shooty platformer has sold over one million copies across all platforms, which is a big number indeed. A big number well-earned, our Cuphead review will tell you.

2. Middle-earth: Shadow of War

Oh! Hello again. Er. Come here often?

1. Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds

My weekend’s Plunking careened downhill after a fantastic start with a duo win in the rain while wildly outgunned. It was never terrible but too many games ended up too long or too slow then ended with a disappointing 2nd or 3rd. Some good spicy drops, though. I do enjoy rounds which are very exciting for three minutes, where I rack up a few kills then get megamurdered. Two minutes later, I’m back on the plane to go again.

Oh. Sorry. It’s tradition to sack off the end the charts with a song? With Apocalypse hanging in the air, here’s this:

26 Comments

  1. X_kot says:

    Of course the week John is away coincides with GTA5 disappearing from the charts. Coincidence?

    Oh, and smashing job, Alice! You provide the screencaps that sustain my faith in humanity.

  2. Premium User Badge

    Drib says:

    I will assume the lady in the title image is excitedly browsing the steam store in big picture mode with a 90’s joystick.

    She’s yelling happily about the generally middling mid-week sales!

    Such an exciting picture.

    • something says:

      It looks like her flightsim CTD’d in the last five minutes of an epic three hour cruise. She had idled away the time before takeoff pontificating about whether to give up and join the Battlegrounds horde, but now the mood has very much left her.

      Or possibly she just hates that all those games she buys on DVD still require her to install Steam.

    • caff says:

      Every time I see it, it cracks me up. This time, she’s literally screaming with laughter at the STEAM STORE PAGE. What the hell is she on?

    • fish99 says:

      Nah… I think she accidentally exited Big Picture mode and since joystick input isn’t supported in regular mode she’s naturally very angry.

      Also she looks like Davina McCall.

  3. Viral Frog says:

    I still have yet to get a chicken dinner, Alice. But I’ve started playing more aggressively. Racking up a good number of kills in the early game and then, same as you, getting megamurdered. Games may not last as long this way, but they’re definitely more eventful. Spicy drops also typically yield more points than the long, quiet games.

    One day I will have my chicken dinner! It’ll probably be in a Squad or Duo game. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy bringing fellow Plunksters to their untimely demise.

  4. hoho0482 says:

    There is no + in tetris… No knockoff would dare. Surely.

  5. Unclepauly says:

    +e+ris frowns from a distance

  6. milligna says:

    That is some quality stock photo manipulation.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Arnvidr says:

    I wanted to try Wildlands, but I didn’t want to install Denuvo. No Wildlands then.

  8. GeoX says:

    Gawd, that stock image is just the gift that keeps on giving.

  9. abomb76 says:

    For all of the hullabaloo GTA5 receives week in and week out in this column, the lack of response to it being off the chart is, frankly, disappointing.

    What is Rockstar doing without all that GTA5 money this week? Are they out in the streets begging for coppers like a gang of street urchins?

  10. LW says:

    The Grim Dawn link points at Dying Light.

  11. heretic says:

    For people not in the UK, today the sky was apocalypic yellow

    link to standard.co.uk

    • abomb76 says:

      Just one day? Poor Londoners….the entire province of British Columbia, large parts of Alberta, Washington and Idaho state were like that for most of the summer due to wildfire.

  12. Premium User Badge

    Nauallis says:

    What is this crap, an entertaining Steam Charts article? Please never stop.

    This is what corporate backing truly looks like, folks. RPS can afford to let other people write the Steam Charts. The race to the bottom is well and truly underway.

  13. Premium User Badge

    john_silence says:

    I fell off Creative Assembly’s wagon. I will be back upon the release of Total War: Revelations and I’ll probably get the Season Pass for the New Testament DLC, especially missions Agony in the Garden of Olives (victory condition: unconditional surrender) and Via Dolorosa, an urban escort map in which you have to fend off the angry crowd (secondary objective: at the Calvary, don’t let the bandits on either side take damage).

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