Steam Charts: Variation Edition!

Sorry to frighten the more sensitive reader, but, goodness me, among the miserably common entries, this week’s chart welcomes a fair few newbies and indies! Are customers about to get better at buying? Or will we just see these games in the charts every week for the rest of the year? STAY TUNED!

9. Slay The Spire

Adam’s favourite deck-based game sneaks its way into the charts this week, and rather splendidly there’s no special reason why. It’s just getting more popular! The early access card-led roguelite has weekly updates, but that’s nothing new, and there’s been no price discount recently.

Perhaps someone who isn’t me, and didn’t murder that mysterious crone’s dog in a car accident, and hasn’t been cursed to write the Steam Charts every week for the rest of their unnatural life, doesn’t find this quite so interesting. But for me it’s quite the treat to see a game get popular by selling regularly priced copies to an ever larger audience. This is my life now. Send help.

8. Northgard

Northgard can make no such boasts. It just cheated. By lowering its price by about 25% last week. The cads. They didn’t even add an interesting new update. They just sat back and said, “MARKET FORCES, FILL OUR POCKETS WITH GOLD!” And you idiots fell for it.

Anyway, so yes, two nice decent indie games in a row to start us off!

7 & 10. Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege

You may have been wondering what happened to #10 this week? Well, it slipped. Tom Clancy’s ghostly form continues to make updates for Siege, as it enters its third year of quite incredible success. “OoooOOOooooOooo!” he said to the team, “DepploooOOOooy the Mid-Season Reinforcements updaaaaAAAaaate.” And so they did, off the back of some tidy sales during the holidays.

In fact, it’s the game itself that was at #10, while the Year 3 season pass gets the #7 slot. And what’s in that? I haven’t a sodding clue. Honestly, I just read about it on Steam, and it’s impenetrable. Just reams and reams of guff about operations and skins and a “0.3% Alpha Pack Boost”. What merry hell is this, where the game’s vocabulary has become unfathomable to outsiders? I promise I’m not making it up when I say it contains these words:

“If you missed the Year 2 Pass, don’t worry! You can still get the 8 Y2 operators in the Year 2 Operators bundle, available in the in-game shop for 2400 R6 Credits.”

6. Grand Theft Auto V

A new series to fill the gruesome space beneath the wearyingly inevitable appearance of this 400 year old game: What’s Another Thing You Could Buy Instead Of GTA V Again?

What’s Another Thing You Could Buy Instead Of GTA V Again?

This bouquet of plush unicorns.

5. Divinity: Original Sin 2

Remember when I said DOS2 would drop out of the charts for the foreseeable unless they had the sense to lower their prices? Well, I SHOWED THEM, EH? Showed them how I’m a stupid wrong idiot.

I’m really delighted to be wrong. DOS2 is one of the best games in the last forty-twelve squillion years, and I love that just its innate brilliance alone is enough to see it trotting back into the charts. I also love that they’ve priced it at £30, and not the current grim trend to push this up to £40/£50, excluding vast swathes of their potential audience who can’t afford to spend a week’s food shopping on a single game.

4. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive


3. Human Fall Flat

Look at this! We solved the mystery from last week, about how this quite decent physics puzzler from two years ago is suddenly flying off the shelves – they added multiplayer. And apparently what everyone was waiting for was multiplayer Human Fall Flat. Getting to #3 is amazing, and what a wonderful belated win for developers No Brakes Games.

Honestly, I’m not sure why they didn’t just press the Add Multiplayer button sooner!

2. They Are Billions

Officially replacing Quake as the Brownest Game Ever Made, They Are Billions continues to sell a squillion copies of its zombie horde sim.

Sidetrack: one of my favourite arguments to have with my friend Stu is over the number billion. He, a very, very old man, understands a billion to mean 1,000,000,000,000. A million million. A trillion, he continues, is a million million million, 1,000,000,000,000,000,000. And despite absolutely no one else on planet Earth using these numbers this way, he still does. How? I’ve no idea. A trillion, by this understanding, has absolutely no useful context. In his world, a billionaire has more money that most of the nations in the world added together. But despite the incredible uselessness of it all, he insists, won’t budge, and starts flapping on about Latin origins. He would be most dissatisfied by the relative paucity of zombies in this game.

1. Plunkbat

Feeling in a Busdriver mood this week, so let’s go back a good ways to my favourite video of his, Me – Time:


  1. AndreasBM says:

    Actually, in Denmark we agree with Stu. 10^6 is a million, while 10^9 is a “milliard”, and so on with billion, billiard,…

    It turns out that your system is called “short scale”, Stu’s system is called “long scale”, and that most of continental Europe uses the latter, see link to

    • Carighan Maconar says:

      Germany uses numbers the same way, btw. Million -> Millard -> Billion, etc.

      • RachelLynch says:

        I get paid over 85 bucks per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over 10k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless. This is what i do… Click Here And Start Work

      • Carra says:

        Same in Dutch, it’s miljoen, miljard, biljoen, biljard,…

        And I think this is one of the few cases where the American system is better. It’s certainly easier to use.

        • apa says:

          Do you actually have “biljard”? Because in Finnish the game pool is called “biljardi” :) As for the numbers we have “miljoona” (10^6), “miljardi” (10^9), “biljoona” (10^12), “triljoona” (10^18). Seems that we don’t need a name for 10^15…

    • Nelyeth says:

      As a French, I concur. It’s a tad tricky at first (especially when we’re talking about billions of pounds, gallons or other nonsensical units), but you get used to it.

    • AbyssUK says:

      You are all wrong as I am an actual scientist, its megapound and gigapound or 1 bitcoin.

    • Dewal says:

      The good thing is, nobody use the long scale “billion” in everyday life. When you get to these kind of numbers you’re probably talking about scientific stuff and you’re better of using scientific notation at this point.
      So the english “billion” is instantly translated to “milliard” when I’m reading or hearing it and there’s no real confusion.

      But yeah, you should tell your friend Stu that he’s not alone, just in the wrong country.

    • John Walker says:

      This is the only argument for Brexit.

      • Rorschach617 says:


        One thousand million is still known in the UK as an “American Billion”, as opposed to the “British Billion” of one million million.

        Hence the fantastic day a few years ago when a BBC researcher querying the latest UK Government debt figures asked a Treasury official “Is that £800 billion figure counted using the British or American Billion?” and got the answer “British billion, of course!”

        The panicked Treasury mandarin called back twenty minutes later to say “American billion! American billion!”

        • Scare Tactics says:

          How many meters is a Scotland Yard? (I’m sorry…)

          • Cederic says:

            You should be, it’s a nonsense question.

            Meter : Something you use to measure stuff
            Yard : Patch of land, usually behind or surrounded by a building

            No relationship at all.

    • Kefren says:

      I think of a billion as a million millions too. (Presumably I was taught that in an English school.)

      It’s crazy that something that should be as language-independent as numbers is just as caught up in different definitions as normal words.

    • ThePuzzler says:

      Britain used long-scale too, but in 1975 the Chancellor announced that we’d be adopting the American system, and within twenty years, most of us had. Officially this was to avoiding communication error in international English. But I think the real reason was that it was fun to say “billions” more often.

    • AmazingPotato says:

      And here in Colombia, a thousand is known as a ‘mil’ whereas a million is ‘millón’ and billion is ‘mil millones’, so it gets rather confusing. Also, this means a billion is ‘a thousand million’. WHAT.

      • Premium User Badge

        Nauallis says:

        This is confusing with Spanish in general (as an english speaker).

        For Mexico travel specifically: worse when thinking about exchange rates, and reading ATMs in Spanish, with the currency symbol for the peso being $. “Retirar $5 mil?” uhhhh

    • Shacklestein says:

      Mandatory Numberphile link

    • RuySan says:

      Your friend Stu is right, and by saying this:

      “And despite absolutely no one else on planet Earth using these numbers this way, he still does.”

      You probably think The World=UK+US

      • Archonsod says:

        That’s because we still refuse to acknowledge any civilisation which dares adopt the metric system.

  2. EvilMonkeyPL says:

    Oh man, The Getaway.
    It had this amazing self-cleaning suit. If you got shot, and you would, cause you’re a gangster, you’d get blood all over your expensive suit.
    But worry not, rest for a bit and your mobster suit will clean itself and close all open bullet wounds in your abdomen.

    • Rizlar says:

      I bloody love that game. Fond memories of blasting my way through a yardie ganja farm then dual-wielding mp5s in double denim as the filth.

  3. Faldrath says:

    This is false advertising :( The words in the little red box (I’m sure there’s a technical term for it) say “ALL CHANGE AT THE STEAM CHARTS”, but #1 is the same as always! This is outrageous! Unacceptable! Unthinkable! I’m really bad at fake internet rage! Why oh why!

  4. chuckieegg says:

    I was hoping for an entry for Yorkshire Gubbins after RPS’s glowing review. Gutted :(

  5. hausser0815 says:

    A billion is a bi-million, 1000000² … and heres why link to

  6. caff says:

    Slay the Spire is excellent and deserves more attention. Someone in RPS comments pointed me at it. So here I am pointing someone else at it.

    • Schaulustiger says:

      God yes, Slay the Spire is so unexpectedly good. It’s hard, but even a failed run gives you enough satisfaction (and a good learning experience) that you immediately want to play again. There’s so many viable ways to construct your deck that I’m still surprised at some combos I’ve not considered before.
      If you’re even slightly interested in deckbuilding or card games you you should absolutely try this.

  7. napoleonic says:

    How interesting: I have always used what is apparently my own idosyncratic system, where a million is a thousand thousand, a billion is a million million, a trillion is a billion billion, etc. In my system, every term is useful, but also efficient. I am going to call it the hyper-long scale.

  8. Premium User Badge

    Nauallis says:

    At this point I’d wager a box of cookies that ole Tom Clancy has more renown from “his” video game titles than his novels.

  9. Worriedman says:

    Just wanted to login to say “Busdriver oh hell yeeeeeaaah!” He was my fave rapper for a long time.

  10. mmandthetat says:

    Haha, the Northgard devs’ plan to boost revenue by keeping the game on sale after the Winter Sale ended totally worked. It’s the only game still discounted, gotta get that one then! Not gonna lie, it worked on me. And I’m glad- I needed a gentle RTS nostalgia trip more than I knew. Great little game.

  11. Cavaron says:

    @John Walker:
    This video may help you see the logic in Stus thinking:
    How big is a billion

    I, like mostly all of continental Europe, prefer the Stu-system.

  12. Woehean says:

    Can someone point me to the place where DOS2 price is 30£ as stated in the article?

    In my reality its priced at 44.99, squarely where the writer applauds it for *not* being priced….

  13. Snake726 says:

    Wait, what – that screenshot is not from CS:GO! It’s an RPK, and there is no such thing as “Revenge”! Plus, it looks like garbage and has a different UI.

  14. PotatoAsfruit says:

    Thats not CS:GO…. thats a screenshot from CF, Crossfire