An Even Secret-er Room Of MORE Compelling Secrets

WHAT THE WHAT. How did you even...? Are you some kind of wizard? You found the secret room within the secret room. This means there's, like, a 65 percent chance you're the destiny child foretold in The Prophecy, which is good enough for me. Guess it's time to reveal unto you all the secrets of games journalism and reviewing now. Are you ready? Here goes:

Games are, ummmm... neat. They are fun to play except when they're not. They are less fun to eat. I do not recommend it. Also, the entire gaming industry is just a front for the government. Something about mass pacification or whatever. But you probably don't care about that.

So yeah, that's that. For real this time. Now go, uh, fulfill prophecies, I guess. Have fun, be safe, don't talk to strangers, and all that. I'm off. Ta!