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Art Sqool will soon make all non-virtual art colleges redundant

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A couple of my friends went to Art Sqool but would never talk about it, so it's great to finally get a peek at what that was actually like for them. It turns out Art Sqool campuses are very big on the colours yellow and pink, and unsettling oversized objects that protrude from a reality adjacent to our own. No wonder they stayed mum.

Art Sqool is an upcoming simulation that aims to authentically recreate collegiate artistic learning, complete with the neural network that grades every student's MS Paint-like creations. I've had the song from the trailer below mewling away in a corner of my brain for the past five days, so I'm hoping that writing about it can provide some catharsis.

Watching that makes me teeter at the edge of comfort. I feel like the world could tilt into Don't Hug Me I'm Scared shenanigans at any second, despite its earnest desire to help me flourish creatively.

It looks like the road to artistic fulfilment involves receiving assignments from a neural network embodied in a hovering 'Q' shape, then bashing them out in a tool that riffs on MS Paint. Think Passpartout, but you're dealing with an AI that grades your work rather than the suffocating pressures of capitalism.

Based on the game's website, it looks like you reach full artistic actualisation once you've completed 50 assignments, collected 18 brushes and have graduated Art Sqool. The campus will open in early 2019.

This is all the work of Julian Glander, who was last seen creating equally surreal playgrounds where the weather updated in real time to match whatever was going on outside your window. You can have some lovely weather in Lovely Weather We're Having right now, if you like. Provided it's actually sunny where you are.

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