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Baldur's Gate 3's narrator posts hilarious outtakes that tease just how thirsty the game might be

“I seduce the door… I’ve got splinters in places you do not wanna know about”

Astarion ponders something at the campfire in Baldur's Gate 3
Image credit: Larian Studios

Baldur’s Gate 3 is right around the corner - comes out tomorrow, August 3rd - and everything we’ve learned about the mammoth RPG makes it sounds like an awfully horny romp. Of course, there’s the recently revealed hot villainess that had an entire corner of the internet making the same joke: “I can fix her.” There’s the fact that you can seduce a druid who’s in bear form - as in an actual bear, not the gay slang version of the word. And now, the voice actor behind Baldur’s Gate 3’s narrator has posted several outtakes, giving us gems such as “I’m a bard, I can fuck my way through any problem.” Have a listen here.

“That could be the tagline for the entire game: frantic bi energy.” Agreed. Other personal highlights include “We live in horny jail, you can’t send us there,” and “I seduce the door… I’ve got splinters in places you do not wanna know about.”

The above linked outtake and two others come courtesy of actor Amelia Tyler. These brilliant videos are presumably taken from inside developer Larian’s recording booths, and I’m guessing the comedy on display is from off-script slip-ups and from banger lines that got cut from the final release. Although I do hope we can actually seduce a door in-game… for comedic purposes, promise.

Some of these scenarios sound downright whacky, appropriately so for such a faithful Dungeons & Dragons romp. While some of the weirder scenarios hinted at in the outtakes won’t be in Baldur’s Gate 3 at launch, I’m certain modders will rectify that in the coming weeks and months.

We’ll get to see all the freakiness in Baldur’s Gate 3 when the game leaves early access on Steam and GOG tomorrow. In the meantime, you can check the exact release times in your region. Larian have also warned that you should delete early access saves and uninstall the game beforehand.

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