How Not To Make A Video Settings Menu

(From Crysis Warhead). That's going to make perfect sense to people who get confused by system specs. Am I a gamer or an enthusiast? I just don't know! What if I'm both? Is that illegal? And if I'm not mainstream, does that automatically make me edgy and avant-garde? Cos that'd be great.

For fun and frolics, imagine if this list of presets were in a different order.