I'm sure your emoji are nice and all, but what'd really enrich my written communication is sound effects. Take this post: what I have to do is explain that the company behind Surgeon Simulator yesterday released onto Steam Early Access I Am Bread, a zany physics sandbox where you control a sentient slice of bread roaming a house trying to become tastier. And how am I to do that without all the wacky cartoon bongs, boings, bings, pings, pops, plops, twangs, gongs, horns, and slide whistles that such a post demands? Tch. I guess we'll find out.
So there you are, a slice of bread with unlikely powers of movement - powered by some form of starchy muscular hydrostat, I suppose. You can control your four corners independently, and use this together with wonky physics to move around, shuffling, crawling, climbing. As you roam around, you can gather toppings and toast yourself on hot things, becoming more edible. And also you can mess with things in typical wacky physics style.
I should've somehow worked this soundboard in.
I Am Bread's Early Access version only has four levels, but developers Bossa plan to add more ahead of a proper launch early next year. They're teasing that later chapters of the story will go somewhere unexpected, and surely also wacky. A launch discount brings it down to £5.94.
Look, this is more how this post should sound: