Steam Charts: They Said It Could Never Happen

I had all the characteristics of a blogger — frayed jeans, opinions, laptop, tea — but my depersonalisation was so intense, had gone so deep, that my normal ability to compile charts had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating top ten articles, a rough resemblance of a best-sellers list, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning.

And yet.

Actual change! Actual change! But not to my existential dread, of course.

1. Battlerite

Increasingly, I work to this rule of thumb: if I feel tired just looking at it, it's going to be a runaway success. There's plenty in this list that is very much for me, but Bloodlines Champions spirt-o-sequel Battlerite very much is not. Even so, it's good to see a break-out hit top these charts - proof positive that Steam's playerbase is thirsty for new things and not just endless Grand Theft Auto. We'll have more on Battlerite, from someone who knows what they're talking about, later today.

2. Grand Theft Auto V

Scratch the above.

3. Osiris: New Dawn

Rather in contrast to our number one, here's proof positive that sandbox craft-o-survival done with a relative degree of gloss and a reasonably high budget would seem to be a surefire way to entice a playerbase that does want basically the same thing all the time. Brendy felt offworld Robin Crusoer Osiris was far too heavy on the grind, but dug its "sandstorms and otherworldly vistas." I do feel tempted to play cos it looks quite delectable, but I'll wait it out in the hope that its trip through early access smooths some of its more tedious edges.

4. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

ThEE VeNGaaaaAAAA busssssssssssssssssss isssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss COMING

5. DOOM

Bethesda have kept slapping cheeky discounts on this since very early on, which some might argue was fiscally unwise, but what it's done is to keep booting DOOM back into the limelight, and as such it's kept on selling throughout the year. Pretty savvy, really. DOOM thus becomes a constant of 2016 rather than there and gone again, as otherwise was perhaps likely given its multiplayer mode was too uninspiring to keep it alive after its bloody good singleplayer campaign was over. It was 50% off, down to $30, until yesterday, FYI. No, you're too late now. Soz, chummo.

6. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI

I can't quite believe this is only a couple of weeks away. Beyond Earth feels like it came out yesterday. Hell, Civ V feels like it came out a week last Tuesday. God knows I'm excited for a new Civ, but I'm also fucking terrified that it's somehow been six years since the last one.

7. Quantum Break

I... I want to play this. Even though everything I've read about it suggests it'll drive me up the wall. I think I'm just a sucker for rubbernecking at folly. And Quantum Break really does look/sound like folly: a giant, vibrating pillar of ambition undermined by trying to cram Videogame into the gaps between its TV-troping and time-bending. John thought it a fascinating but flawed experiment, and honestly that intrigues me. I'm curious to see the walls Remedy ran into while trying to create something more than the average bear - and which holes they actually managed to knock into those walls.

8. Mafia III

Joining Civ VI on the 2K Pre-Order Boogaloo. I have absolutely no opinion about Mafia III. No anticipation but no ill will either. I am aware that it is a game that exists, and maybe it will be OK, but there is not an obvious place in my life (i.e. available free time) for it and so I imagine it will just pass me by. Number 8 on pre-orders is good-going though, so clearly I'm not representative of the norm here.

9. H1Z1: King of the Kill

Daybreak's DayZ riposte spun-off into a Battle Royale standalone project early this year, which hungrily gamed it way out of early access and into a full release a few weeks back. It's only now that it bags itself a place in the charts, thanks to the double-whammy of a sale and heightened profile from a paid tourney at Twitchcon. The third-off sale (making it £10/£13) has seven hours left on it from the time of writing, if you're curious.

10. Call of Duty: Black Ops III

I haven't played a new COD for a few years now, and while I've often sneered at their hoo-rah bombast from afar, truth be told I almost miss sinking into 8-10 hours of ludicrous, unreconstructed chest-beating singleplayer action every Autumn. Stockholm Syndrome perhaps. Which would be ironic, given it's COD's uber-rival Battlefield that is developed in Stockholm. Anyway, I saw CODBLOPS3 back on the Steam front pages thanks to its half price ($30) sale last week and actually ended up installing it, so that I've got some routine man-shooting set aside for a rainy day. I suspect quite a few folk who tired of the annual cycle and high release price felt similarly. Sometimes you just want stupid.

I haven't done this for a while because the charts have been so static, but just FYI, here are the games that fell out of the charts this week:

Divinity: Original Sin 2
Cossacks 3
NBA 2k17
ARK: Scorched Earth expansion pack
Cossacks 3 some kinda deluxe edition
NBA 2k17 some kinda deluxe edition

So: quite a bloodbath, by usual standards at least. We're moving into big release silly season now, so can probably expect a few more weeks of shake-up before settling into a new routine through to and beyond Christmas. Dare we dream that even GTA V and CSGO might make a brief departure?