Posts Tagged ‘free’

Build Fun Sculptures In Super Sculptor!

Look, it generates the names too, okay.

My career as a sculptor is off to an inauspicious start. Patrons initially enjoyed my forest of green light poles and vision spheres, and beamed when I added video screens, but I started to lose them with the luxury stool. It’s a comment on the viewer, yeah? I added a can of diluted syrup next to the stool. They frowned. I put a gloss rock before the stool and a waving hand at crotch level, because patrons just want to look at something pretty while you wank them off, yeah? I lost them. In spite, I put a violence stick in the hand. The final valuation: Raging War For The Us is worth $5418. I’m a failure. Super Sculptor! [official site] is crushing my dreams, man.

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Have You Played… Mall Quest?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

Mall Quest [official site] is a special hell, a sprawling vaporwave mall filled with poorly-labelled products, garish decor, and pink fog. In your hands, a shopping list of items you must find and buy so you can leave. This is hell. This is my hell.

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Have You Played… Hernhand?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

We’ve gushed an awful lot about Bernband, but have you played its fellow waggly-handed walking simulator Hernhand [official site]? The two are companions of sorts, with Tom van den Boogaart (BB) and Jake Clover (HH) riffing off the same idea of exploring an alien city and both citing other as inspirations. They make interesting pals.

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Deliver Calamari To Your Gran In Space: Zunus

Zunus [official site] is the latest short game from Jonathan Whiting, he of BLOODWORM and Traal and Mussel and Sportsfriends and lots of other things. It was made for Ludum Dare and is about delivering calamari to your gran in space while dodging asteroids in a simple, 2D thrust-‘em-up.

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Timruk, A Gorgeous Story Within A Story Within A Book

Here’s a provocative declaration for you: Studio Oleomingus are making the best-looking games in all of videodom right now.

Flicking through pages of storybooks and stepping into tales as they’re being told, their games overfill surreal sets with knick-knacks and bric-à-brac, books vases and teapots and skulls and jars and flowers and taps and televisions and giant toothbrushes. They’re colourful and weird, and I want to touch every ornate surface. Each new fragment of Somewhere, whatever that ends up being, is prettier than the last. All of which is to say, Timruk [official site] is their latest pretty tale, and it’s out now for free.

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Procedural Painting For Aliens In Joy Exhibition

We adored the sprawling artworld of Secret Habitat but didn’t you find something fishy about creator Strangethink Software’s claims that a computer created all of the galleries and artists and artworks? It’d need an expensive roboarm just to hold a brush, for starters. Now Strangethink’s latest, Joy Exhibition [official site], has revealed the truth: it’s all made by little people trapped somehow inside computers. Joy Exhibition is a first-person arter, giving us procedurally-generated paintguns splatting procedural paint to create paintings for a gallery visited by procedural silent glowbeings whose judging eyes I feel burning through my every worthless creation.

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Apotheon Arena: Free Mythological Multiplayer Murder

Greek god-a-thon Apotheon has released a free multiplayer standalone named Apotheon Arena [official site]. “For know that no one is free, except Zeus,” once said Ancient Greek tragedian Aeschylus. Well, aye, except Apotheon Arena, mate, I just told you that was free. C’mon Aeschy, keep up!

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Not-So-Secret Santa – Giants: Citizen Kabuto For Free

As GOG’s winter sale nears its end, the virtual vendors of vintage (and virginal!) video games are offering a freebie to everyone, no purchase necessary: Planet Moon’s Giants: Citizen Kabuto from the year 2000. Obviously, to save money for more bourbon, I shall be presenting Cara with a copy as her gift in our office Secret Santa once she returns from her festive nap. “It’s a cult classic,” I’ll say. “Pretty funny. You get to be a giant and puny Britishfolk and a sea witch and everything. Took me ages to find.” If any of you rotters give away the secret, there will be CONSEQUENCES.

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Competitive Dadding In Who’s Your Daddy

Christmas is a time for family, so Alice and Cara have ventured together into the public prototype of Who’s Your Daddy [Greenlight page]. It’s a two-player dad ‘em up with a father racing around trying to child-proof a home and a baby trying its damndest to die.

Alice: Cara, who’s your daddy? It’s me. I’m your daddy. I’m the best daddy. Daddy Cool.

Cara: If you are my daddy I have a lot to say to my mum. Like. Well. Some sort of question about time travel I guess. And how insemination works.

Alice: This has gone wrong very quickly. Read the rest of this entry »