The Complete Fool In Morrowind

The RPS Hivemind is still recharging, the major nodes soldered directly into the towering soul-capacitors necessary to sustain their thin simulacrum of consciousness for another 12 months. Fortunately, an errant pustule has attained basic mobility, and opted to present you with artifacts from the Shotgun archives to help see you through until our resurrection. First up, a return to the Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, with a haphazard diary series written by Alec back in Summer 2009 during a obsessive revisit of the game that many still feel is Bethesda's finest hour. It's a tale of hats, spider-dwarves, assassin-besieged home ownership, grand burglary, poorly-designed forts and existential crisis, in a land far, far stranger than Skyrim.

Note from Alec: yeah, this series was never completed as such. Sorry about that: my return to Morrowind consumed me for over a month, during which I summarily failed to get any other work done. Real life eventually beckoned. Still, what are Elder Scrolls games but a series of random vignettes without overarching purpose? Also, I really wish I'd called it something smarter than 'A Fool In Morrowind.'

Précis - the plan, the character the mods, the comment section that immediately informed me I was using all the wrong mods. So...

Précis, take 2 - Let's take this from the top, then. This is the mod-set I ultimately went with: improvements to both graphics and features.

Day 1: Trousers - Of slaughtering animals in plain sight and collecting new clothes but still ending up with bare legs.

Day 2: Granny - Leading a geriatric into terrible peril, and investigating the outer limits of Morrowind's AI to boot.

Day 3: Fort Stupid - Not-so-impregnable defences. Also: using a mad cult to hide my drug stash.

Day 4: Existential Crisis - Why do I always seem to play RPGs the same way?

Day 5: Big Jobs - Grand-scale crime, as I attempt to achieve fame and glory within the local Thieves' Guild.

Day 6: Tweet - New Games Journalism, or just a very silly concept-post?

Day 7: Powerhat - Introducing the best loot in any game, ever.

Day 8: Domestic Bliss - Maybe tomorrow, I'll wanna settle down. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep stealing hats.

Day 9: The Last Dwarf - Face-to-face with a tragic echo of perhaps the most fascinating facet of Elder Scrolls lore.

And that was that. I had a good time, and I wish I could have continued it for longer. One day, time-willing, I will return - specifically to explore the canine charms of the Bloodmoon expansion.