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Total War: Warhammer 3 reveals Slaneesh's horny, hedonistic army

They're coming to seduce you

While some Chaos gods have perfectly reasonable cover stories for their interests in pursuits like decay and mutation or murder and mutilation (I mean, one can hardly get skulls for one's skull throne at Ikea), Slaneesh is unashamedly 'horny on main' (as middle-aged people like me believe young people might still say, possibly?). This much is clear in a new trailer which introduces the Slaneesh of Total War: Warhammer 3, clad in hot pinks and meat lingerie.

As developers Creative Assembly explain in today's announcement, Slaneesh is "dedicated to the pursuit of excess, gratification, hedonism, pain and perfection at the expense of any other soul." The sort of lad who doubtless plays horny games like Succubus (a link for RPS Supporters only, there).

"Commanding their sinister armies are the imperious Keepers of Secrets and the Herald of Slaanesh, whilst the core of their army is formed around cunning and deadly units such as Daemonettes and Fiends, leaving the agile Heartseekers and Hellstriders to provide lightning-quick cavalry support," the devs explain. They say this makes them good for hit-and-run tactics, and picking off the weak and isolated. Then, their armies "gain battle currency by killing routing units which be used on three abilities which accentuate their playstyle."

On the campaign map, a Slaneesh player's devotion to excess can screw with enemies. You can force 'gifts' onto enemy characters to cripple them (terminal horniness, eh?), can forcibly vassalise factions through seduction, and can capture Devotees from battles, through cults, and other ways.

I assume it's all broadly like that situation at an out-of-control party where two people keep making out and aimlessly extending their hands to ensnare nearby horny partygoers in a writhing mass of meat lingerie. I mmmight be getting confused with the movie Society. God, Slaneesh would love Society. I realise me saying that presents a very real risk of calling a Chaos god into existence but so be it. He really would, and I think he should know that.

Total Warhammer 3 is due to launch on the 17th of February. It's also one of the many games coming to Xbox Game Pass For PC in 2022.

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Alice O'Connor

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When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea.

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