Since the release of teaser footage for Resident Evil Village last month, it’s fair to say there has been a lot of chat online about Lady Dimitrescu, the utterly gigantic villain of the piece. She has captured quite a few imaginations, it would seem, and speculation has been rife regarding just how vast the millineried monstress actually is.
Yesterday the discussion was settled for good by the Resident Evil Twitter account, which posted a statement from Village’s art director, Tomonori Takano, confirming Dimitrescu’s height as 9’6”. That’s... very tall indeed. Admittedly, the figure includes her hat and high heels, but even wearing flats, she’d top nine foot. The question remains, however: what else would she top? No, not like that, you wretches. What I mean to say, is that I’ve made a comparison chart, featuring Dimitrescu and a selection of other vast creatures, both real and imagined. Come and have a look.Key:
- T-00, aka Mr. X - Resident Evil 2 - 7’11” The Resident Evil games have always been big on big villains, with the Tyrant series of bioweapons being monsterers-in-chief for much of the series. This fellow from Resi 2 also wore a hat, but it was not as fancy as Lady D's.
- Short-faced Bear - Extinct animal - 12' (standing) The giant short-faced bear (Arctodus simus) was one of the largest land carnivores ever to live, and lived in North America during the Pleistocene, where it survived until as recently as 11,000 years ago. It would have stood 12'4" in heels, but it did not have the sophistication to wear a hat.
- Hekate and Kassandra - Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: Fate Of Atlantis - 8’3” and 5’11” I do not understand Assassin's Creed metaplot lore, but in Odyssey, it turns out the greek gods were actually... very tall aliens. Hekate is one of Alice B's favourite enormous women, and she wrote a brilliant post about her and her huge mates here.
- Robert Pershing Wadlow - Tallest recorded human - 8’11” Hailing from the state of Missouri, Robert Wadlow was the tallest human in recorded history, due to hypertrophy of his pituitary gland. Tragically, complications from this condition led to his death in 1940 at just 22 years of age. Even with his thin frame, he weighed 200kg at the time of his death, which is as much as a very serious wrestler might weigh. Looking at Dimitrescu's decidedly more robust proportions, it's not unreasonable to suspect she might be approaching half a metric ton in mass.
- The 50ft Woman - Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman - 50’ I confess, I have not watched this 1958 B-movie, but I gather the woman who features as its antagonist was some fifty feet tall. Allison Hayes, who played the fifty foot woman, was 5'6".
- Alcina Dimitrescu and Ethan Winters - Resident Evil Village - 9’6’’ and 5’11” At this point, they need little introduction. Poor old Ethan: even his silhouette looks defeated here.
- An Emperor Penguin, Three King Penguins Stacked On Top Of Each Other, and Danny DeVito as The Penguin (holding a 48 pack of McVities Penguin Bars) - Batman Returns (apart from the biscuits) - 4’3”, 4’10”, 9’10” McVities Penguin bars, a popular British snack time treat, did not feature in the movie Batman Returns. Also: emperor penguins are way, way bigger than you probably thought they were.
- A Ostrich - The Dream Of Nicolas In The Hall Of William The Beast - 9’3” The largest living bird, the ostrich, could probably just about stare down Lady D, if it was a really big specimen. But let's face it, she could eat its head like an ornery crisp. In the bird world, only the king penguins stand a chance here, and only then by cheating.
- Rexy - Jurassic Park series - 17’ at the head Of course, birds used to get a lot bigger than they do now, because they used to be dinosaurs. Although not the largest carnivorous dinosaur, T-Rex is by far the most famous, and the most well known T-Rex in pop culture is surely Rexy, off of the Rassy P movies. She is a pretty gigantic lady. I reckon Dimitrescu could probably ride about on her as if she were a colossal murderpony, too.
- Bowsette - The Internet’s Fevered Gestalt Consciousness - between 5’10” and 11’ I made the mistake of asking Twitter if there was an established concensus on the height of Bowsette, the last game-adjacent giant to send the internet into comparable fits of thirst to Dimitrescu. I received many, many answers, and so have displayed Bowsette's range of potential heights.