Ah, hello there! Happy weekend to you. "Alice!" you shout in reply. "What does WPAPWPAPWAPPWA look like now RPS has a snazzy new redesign?" Well! A whole lot like I have once again copy/pasted layout code from elsewhere on the site to create something functional-ish is what. It's practical. Recycling. A keystroke saved is a keystroke earned.
What are you playing this weekend? Here's what we're clicking on!
I'm going camping with what I've just found out is a sum total of sixty 5-year-olds and their families. Thus, I will be playing the 'questioning every life decision that led to to this moment' game, at great length.
A while back I got an email about a game on Itch called Detective Corgi And The Mysterious Mansion. Since I am a fool for small dogs and detectives alike, I'll be giving it a spin this weekend. Any time left over will be spent on feeling guilty about not going outside because the weather will still (probably) be nice, but I will still (probably) be lazy.
I'm glad that the new site has these fancy staff profile pages so I can quote, "When not writing news, Alice may be found in the sea." That's the hope. That's the plan. I've been on land since Sunday and feel wrong.
That said, there is agitating amongst the lads to round up a classic lineup of eight 24-carat diamond legends for Plunkbat's Metal Rain event mode. I enjoyed the rounds I squeezed in on Friday, chasing after signal flares and riding around in deathjeeps with randos, and very much look forward to the possibility of peer-pressuring seven polite people on Discord to shout and doot along to Chelsea Dagger.
I'm gonna biff, pow, slam and maybe even thwack some dweebs in Absolver, which I've returned to after a long absence. Apart from that I'm just going to sit around and read, because computers are hell and I don't like them anymore.
This weekend I will be delving into Far Cry 5's Lost On Mars DLC. I realise going in that it's going to be an incredibly barren and campy ride, but part of me always enjoyed the sillier aspect of Far Cry's DLC offerings ever since Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. I've so far gathered a few parts of Hurk's body and activated a few of the Ubisoft "towers" that have somehow made their comeback, so we'll see if my optimism still holds by next week.
How long can I keep the Yoku's Island Express gag running for? I still haven't finished it, I still haven't reviewed it, and so it's still the only game I'm really planning on playing this weekend. Is this even a gag yet? I don't think it is - I think it's just being slow and bad at my job. But give it another three or four months and this is going to start getting funny, you watch.
I've got one more baddie to kill in Assassin's Creed Origins and then I'm free. Freeeeee! *looks at map* *map fills with DLC icons* *sobs* Once all that nonsense is sorted, I'm also getting my head around Warframe. It's still an overwhelming mass of collectible parts and obscure terminology, but the basic satisfaction of pinning space villains to the walls with arrows offers a good 'in'.
This weekend I will be playing God Of War... heresy, I know, the game being a PlayStation exclusive and all. But I watched someone play the first ten or so minutes and immediately heard the call of the Leviathan axe... I'll also play a bit of Bus Simulator because it is a) an unhealthy obsession at this point and b) nothing beats driving a bus in the rain after a long day of playing other, more taxing, games.
But you, dearest reader, what are you playing?