Rock, Paper, Shotgun

I’m ten. I’m sitting in the solvent-soaked school art room doodling, when my friends sneak in. They’ve got something amazing to show me. It’s a little dwarf made out of lead, and Fat Winnie has just bought it off Big-Nosed Will, who actually painted it. It’s like got an AXE! Will’d mainly used red paint on it (“For the blood” he says. He now works in advertising) but it’s soooo cool. This is the start.
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As anyone who listened to the last podcast I did will know, my last couple of weeks have been based around rushing to the door at the slightest sound of postman. Perpetual disappointment which was made unperpetual yesterday when the ridiculously beautiful Space Hulk 3rd edition turned up. Geeking out even more than me was Ex-Consolevania Now-Downtimetown Rab Florence, who has recorded 10 of the finest high-geek ranting I’ve seen in quite a while. You’ll find it below. It features cardboard comparison and kissing, vocoded songs about overwatch and close up of space-marine crotches. It’s quite the thing. I justify this as an RPS post because i) Space Hulk was the basis of the fine game Alec wrote about previously and ii) I’m incorrigible.
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The independent Space Hulk project being developed by Teardown hasn’t been okay’d by the suits at THQ:

We have amazing news! All of our efforts have finally paid of. With some help from our forum we got in contact with a producer behind Dawn of War at THQ. He really loved this game, in fact so much that he helped us talk to their laywers and for the last week we have worked around the clock to get all the vital approvals to once again persuade Games Workshop to let us release our game. We have kept this quiet to not jinx anything but now its official! SPACE HULK IS BACK!

Great news for Teardown, and a sensible decision by THQ and Games Workshop. Assuming, of course, that someone isn’t doing a poor taste April Fool’s post over on teardown.se…

Much as I’m fond of it, I’ve always had one major complaint about Dawn of War. It doesn’t feel very Warhammer 40,000. It certainly looks pretty Warhammer 40,000 – fans are well-serviced by grisly animations and the army painter tool – but I never got much sense of the universe’s character. All that colour, all that cartoonishness, all that replenishing lost troops… I want DARKNESS and FEAR and EVERY MAN DOWN IS LIKE A PUNCH TO THE STOMACH. I want Space Hulk.

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Space Hulk was on my mind anyway – I was thinking of group-based tactical games with a claustrophobic atmosphere after playing Spectrum-Aliens-remake LV-426 (Which, were I making Bioshock 2, I’d rip off completely). So when news of a just-released Space Hulk remake reached me, I was overjoyed, making plans to step back into the early nineties of EA’s multi-windowed paranoia-fest. Except then I realised that while they have EA’s (And Games Workshop’s) permission to do this, it isn’t based on the computer game at all. It’s based on the board game. So it looks like this:
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