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"I Am Not A Carrier"

In his round-up of Black Ops videos earlier today, Quinns forgot one very important clip. Very, very important. Crucial, as far as I’m concerned.

It concerns the player characters in one of the game’s two Zombie modes – something that, quite frankly, is the first time to date that I’ve felt even a flicker of personal (i.e. not purely professional) interest in Treyarch’s franchise-nicking shooter. Spoilers below. But if you feel a similar level of disinterest in Black Ops, you should probably take a look.

Again, SPOILERS YOU MOTHER.

These are the four playable stars of the new-look Zombie mode, which is in the broadest respects a remake of the popular Nazi Zombies banal-o-survival mode in CoD: World At War. They’re repeating that, by the sound of it, but also bundling in a new Cold War-set alternative. This one’s clearly going for character as well as arcadesome points-based mega-slaying, however. Why? Well, because:

Kennedy (J. F.)

Castro (F)

MacNamara (R)

Nixon (R)

Together at last: solving the Cuban missile crisis and clearing out an infected Pentagon one dead-head at a time.

Activision apparently keep pulling these vids, so get ’em while they’re hot and sorry if this one ends up blocked before you get to it).

“Sourrnds like someooooone bbreaking iiiin!”

Nixon! Watergate-buffoon Nixon! Nixon! Tricky Dicky! Y’know, this guy:

I can kill zombies whilst bellowing Nixon-esque soundbytes/lies? No, this is too good. Too good. And it means there’s a sense of humour somewhere in this hitherto apparently cheerless money-grabber. It means… it means Call of Duty isn’t The Great Evil it’s become so easy to think it is. Well, maybe. Unless it out-and-out heroises Nixon, which wouldn’t entirely surprise me, given the America The Brave tendencies of this series.

I’m presuming the shouty meathead in the earlier video was MacNamara, which means we’re going to have to hang on (probably until release later this month) to find out what Nixon’s like. Sweaty-faced and “Aroooooo”-ing merrily, hopefully, whilst taking the occasional cheeky pot-shot at JFK’s back.

Goddamnit. Now I want to play Black Ops. Damn it.

Valve must be feeling a little narked though, eh?

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Alec Meer

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Co-founder of RPS. Dungeon Keeper & X-COM 4 Life.

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