Just as the grass grows and the ocean gently laps against the shore, triads will rise. It is simply nature's way. For eons, however, top scientists have pondered what role rhythmic triad undulations play in the greater order of our universe. Do they hold up the planet in much the same fashion as long-dead Greek titans before them? Are they responsible for the complex set of physics interactions that make ice cream flavors that don't taste like ice cream possible? Do they allow jokes that should've ended a long time ago to just keep going and going? We may never know. But I just had a crazy thought: maybe Rise of the Triad's purpose is shooting dudes really, really fast. Sometimes with a baseball bat that's also the devil. No, that's impossible. It's probably the ice cream thing. See for yourself in the form of an appreciably meaty video after the break.
HE IS DUDESHOOT MANKILL, AND HE WILL TRIUMPH.
(Note: I do not actually think that's the main character's real name. If only, if only.)
That multiplayer deathmatch is looking about as old-school as they come, though - by which I mean blindingly, blitzingly, brutally fast. Similarly, there's basically no thematic continuity to the levels, because who needs dumb stuff like that? Castles are cool, and so are volcano lairs, and the bland military facility wouldn't stop begging to hang out with the other levels, so they were like, "Ugh, fine. Get in the car. But god damn it you get to talk only when we say you do." But yes, as per tradition, ROTT's driving design philosophy seems to be "Why the fuck not?"
Weapons, meanwhile, vary from absurd to "there's no way that won't be completely overpowered in nearly every situation imaginable." I mean, did you see the multi-rocket in the upper nook of the military level? It literally rained down death from on-high. But then, Interceptor CEO Frederick Schreiber told me that balance isn't necessarily top priority anyway. "We have balance in the game," he explained in an interview, "but we want the player to feel like 'Whoa, this is nuts.'"
And it does look a little nuts. As long as it's fun, though, that's no problem in my book. So here's hoping. It's out this summer.