"Ugh, a system requirements post?" you groan. "Talk about scraping the bottom of the post-Christmas barrel..." and I grab you by the ear, throw you to the ground, and stand over you yelling: LISTEN, YOU DREADFUL LITTLE SNOT, ONLY TWELVE THOUSAND YEARS SEPARATE US TODAY FROM THE FACTUAL, HISTORICAL EVENTS OF FAR CRY PRIMAL [OFFICIAL SITE] AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IS BUILT UPON THAT TOIL OF MILLENNIA. WITHOUT THEM, YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE WHINING THAT 'HOVERBOARDS' DON'T HOVER. YOU WILL APPRECIATE EVERY OUNCE OF TECHNOLOGY AT YOUR DISPOSAL.
I mean, you could just pop on over to the Ubisoft blog for Primal's minimum and recommended spec, but here I'll patronise you so...
First off, 64-bits. No ifs, no buts. If you can't accept that, you're done here.
On the minimum end of the CPU scale, you'll need an Intel Core i3-550 or AMD Phenom II X4 955 sort of a thing. That i3 processor fits 382 million transistors into eight square centimetres. We didn't even properly have transistors until 1947, and now you can fit millions in your pocket. At the recommended end, you'll find a i7-2600K or FX-8350.
Graphically, the minimum is a GeForce GTX 460 or Radeon HD 5770 (or equivalent) with 1GB of RAM, while a GTX 780 or R9 280X would be recommended. Look at this screenshot of a dog. If you wanted to see a not-real dog way back in the day, this was as good as it got. Even only one thousand years ago, this was it. Looking at not-real dogs in the comfort of your home has never been better.
RAM-wise, we're talking 4GB minimum and 8GB recommended. Back in the days Primal recreates, people hadn't even invented numbers. We'd carve notches as tallies, which was a sensible start, but when it came to writing those tallies down in a book or entering them into a computer, we were stuck. Do those seven notches represent five or eighty-nine? No one could say, because we didn't have numbers.
Yadda yadda, 20GB hard disk space, yadda yadda keyboard mouse controller, and here we are back in the present day.
Far Cry Primal is due on March 1st. Here's a look at it from a recent dev livestream:
Now say "Thank you, Alice. I now appreciate the majesty of the Intel Core i7 processor. I'd forgotten that we used to do counting with stones or our fingers or, worse, our heads - and that counting didn't even calculate mip-mapping. Truly, you have given me a new lease on life. But couldn't you have made this a bit more A Christmas Carol-y? 'tis the season, after all, and you could've done something funny with minimum spec for Christmas Past, recommended for Christmas Present, and my miserable death for Christmas Future. Yeah, that would've been a lot more "