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MGS V: The Phantom Pain Release Creeps Forward

Hrrnngrn! (That's my Snake impression.)

Who ever knows what Konami are up to? Between the reported fallout with Metal Gear maestro Hideo Kojima and new tales of Kafkaesque working conditions, maybe even Konami don't know. But for once, this has worked to our favour. Konami have shunted the PC release of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain [official site] forward a fortnight to September 1st to match the console editions.

It's not that simple, of course: Konami's announcement today also notes that its multiplayer, Metal Gear Online, won't launch until January 2016 - though the console multiplayer will kick off on October 6th. Oh, Konami!

Alongside all this come updated system requirements and a post detailing what'll be special about the PC release. The Phantom Pain will let you whip up custom soundtracks with your own MP3s, and offer Steam Trading Cards (this is more bafflingly important for some). It'll have more graphics options than Ground Zeroes, letting folks tweak depth of field blur and whatnot, though these won't affect cinematics - why would you want to alter Kojima's cinematic vision anyway?

As I understand fan theories are supposed to start with the conclusion and draw lines backwards into esoteric proof, here's the reasoning I want you to find for all these date changes: Kiefer Sutherland is a Fake Snake, and David Hayter will return to punch out Fake Snake with his non-rocket fist. Okay, go!

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Alice O'Connor avatar

Alice O'Connor

Associate Editor

Alice is likely in the sea.

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