The snivelling worms in Hollywood have jettisoned their creative vision for a blue humanoid hedgehog able to run faster than the speed of sound, bowing to public demands that such a monstrosity brought into the human world would look 'cute'. A new Sonic the Hedgehog movie trailer reveals the makeover promised by the spineless cowards following reactions to Cinesonic's big reveal in April. Sonic now looks more like he does in ye olde video games. What a shame. Hollywood dared to catch viewers off-guard and force them to see their childhoods in a new light, then instantly backed down. Where's your conviction, you charlatans?
Yep, sure, that's more like how Sonic looks in his cartoon world in the games. Disappointing. When a cartoon manbeast is dragged into our world, I want it to see it as the eerie little gremlin it is. Everything and everyone in ye olde Sonic games is stylised, they're not designs meant for the human world. This isn't like Roger Rabbit, where the contrast and interplay between hand-animated characters and a meat cockney is a treat, it's just a recreation of a rude dude with excess 'tude.
I was surprised when the first trailer showed real-world Sonic to be a ratty wee beastie with an unnervingly human mouth:
But it's more interesting than a look based on the games:
The old look confronts you with the eerie reality of the hedgehog you feel nostalgia for. The new look panders and comforts. The old look requires you to consider if you could truly be friends with an alien being. The new look tells you Sonic is your friend forever and he'll take you out for chili dogs after Tails helps you finish your homework. Frankly, I'm beginning to question the artistic integrity of this movie adaptation of a video game series which has been mostly bad for over two decades. Though I do like Ben Schwartz.
The Sonic movie is due in cinemas February 14th. Bring a date!