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Spelunky 2 is the perfect scientific measurement of fatigue

More accurate than a ruler

You might remember that I couldn’t beat Spelunky 2's first stage, no matter how hard I tried. Well, I'm proud to announce that my fortunes have since changed and that I've bested it. I should say "we", as my achievement was aided by a co-op pal, and the only person on Earth patient enough to accompany such a terrible Spelunker. We even reached the first boss, and the level after that! Before we both got splatted by an anti-gravity zombie-puppet-that-lives-underwater.

Aside from my – our – achievements, I learned that the game is a perfect measurement of fatigue. Where rulers calculate distance or Ollie's highly scientific WIPERS precipitation system measured the best rain in games, Spelunky 2 is the ultimate tool for accurately determining just how tired someone is.

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Ed Thorn avatar
Ed Thorn: When Ed's not cracking thugs with bicycles in Yakuza, he's likely swinging a badminton racket in real life. Any genre goes, but he's very into shooters and likes a weighty gun, particularly if they have a chainsaw attached to them. Adores orange and mango squash, unsure about olives.
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Spelunky 2

PS4, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, PC

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