Here's yer weekly top ten Steam best-sellers. That being what most tore up the charts last week. Is DOOM still king? What happens to Total Warhammer now it's actually released? And what in the name of all that's holy is YouTubers Life?
It's been lurking around the top ten like a Nurgle plague for weeks prior to release, but now that the Creative Assembly's Games Workshop adaptation is out and broadly well-received, it waaaghs its way straight to number one.
Possibly the biggest surprise of the year so far demonstrates some staying power. Good word of mouth about the fast'n'furious singleplayer campaign more than makes up for a more muted response to the much-promoted multiplayer.
"Youtubers Life is the ultimate life simulation/tycoon videogame in which you can become the world’s greatest video blogger in history. Edit videos, expand the amount of fans and turn yourself into a wealthy fellow." This is the world my daughter will inherit, so perhaps you'll excuse me while I go and stare out the window and sigh heavily for 90 straight hours.
Sales and the Blood & Wine expansion keep last year's mega-RPG back in the chart for a second week running. Perhaps even grim Geralt will crack his granite jaw into a smile at that.
What actually happened is that Donald Trump's pet Siberian tiger fell asleep on his keyboard, which inadvertently ordered CSGO 300,000 times. Trump has yet to notice this.
Last year's best action game - wash-out final chapter notwithstanding - makes a welcome return due to a four-day sale which knocked it down to $28/ £17.49. No, it's over now, sorry. But the current price of £24.99 remains a damn good deal for such an excellent stealth game and Kim Wilde singalong.
It's the new CSGO! In that it's always here, and that I don't have anything else to say about it now. Always fascinating, from within the ivory tower of games criticism, to see something that everyone's playing but no-one seems to be talking about, though. Games which become ways of life for so many, rather than brief source of hot takes.
8. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Game + Expansion Pass
Again, it's sales wot did it, and that sale is still on until early Wednesday. Down from £55 to £36 for the whole Witcher 3 kit'n'kaboodle, including Blood & Wine, if you don't already have it.
This might just be Stellaris' last week in the top ten, although given they launched their IPO yesterday the Paradox bosses are presumably doing the Scrooge McDuck thing today and surely don't care.
Charts via Steam.