Men (and women) have been At Work, Down Under, attempting to classify dildo-filled absurdity-fest Saints Row IV. They have finally... come.... to a conclusion. "In the Review Board’s opinion, Saints Row IV could not be accommodated within the R 18+ classification as drug use related to incentives and rewards is not permitted." You better run, you better take cover.
On the 25th June, Saints Row IV was the "first computer game in Australia to be Refused Classification under the Guidelines for the Classification of Computer Games that commenced on 1 January 2013," according to The Acting Director of the Classification Board Mr Donald McDonald. [Donald McDonald?! That guy is making my Scottish credentials feel weak. I imagine him in a kilt on a farm on a mobile phone to his long lost brother Ronald McDonald, who has promised to send him a lifetime's supply of soggy burgers.]
Back in June, the board had a problem with anal probing, and drugs:
The Classification Board classified the game RC (Refused Classification) in accordance with item 1(a) of the National Classification Code and in accordance with the computer games guidelines.
In the Board’s opinion, Saints Row IV, includes interactive, visual depictions of implied sexual violence which are not justified by context. In addition, the game includes elements of illicit or proscribed drug use related to incentives or rewards. Such depictions are prohibited by the computer games guidelines.
Mr McDonald said the Classification Board had now been applying the new computer games guidelines for almost six months and this was the first game to be refused classification.
But though the anal probe was removed, the drug use still seems to be taking place. The final decision on the classification took place yesterday, where the board decided the game was to be refused classification. I don't get it: are Australians a very delicate people? I thought they were very hardy and said 'meight' a lot and can survive a kangaroo punch and twenty days in the bush [ha! I said bush] with no water. Next time I see one I will be sure not to mention my copious anal probe and/or drug use related to incentives and rewards around them, in case they may faint. But this is the country that gave us Men At Work right? How did that ever get classification? MY EARS.
Who am I kidding that song is amazing. Vegemite sandwich.
Kieron of Gillen and I anal-ysed the first trailer here, if you are interested. It had dongs.
[Edit: my journo bros in Oz tell me that this was a review of the uncut version, which Koch Media asked to be re-reviewed without the anal probe. They are submitting a cut version, which I expect we will hear about soon. Thanks, Jickle!]
Thanks Eurogamer. Thurogamer.