If you're sick of old people telling you you'll never amount to anything, then the launch trailer for Assassin's Creed Odyssey should be right up your street. The game's out next Friday, so you can spend the intervening time deciding whether you're going to stab a Greek prophet who's clearly rubbish at his job.
The new Ass Creed is big on choices, with branching quest paths and the option to play as a man or a woman right from the start. I had a little go on Odyssey at EGX, and I'm definitely going to play as Kassandra because Alexios was an arse.
I want to see the remix where Alexios/Kassandra just sits around looking at sheep or something.
The little bit of stabbing, kicking and ibex hunting I got up to at EGX seemed promising. I started off with a big battle and had fun using special abilities to kick Athenians into the sea, or pinch people's shields mid-fight and then clobber their owners with them. After that I had my horse stolen by a lady I'd just agreed to go hunting with, then declined to follow her to a special bonking cave she knew about nearby.
After that though, I strolled up to a town and was rude to a beggar who seemed to be in obvious distress. You pick conversation options but not exact words, so I was aghast when she stumbled over her words a little and Alexios told her to "spit it out". Maybe Kassandra will be less abrasive. Presuming she hasn't just been given the same script.
There's plenty more Ass Creed out there for your eyeballs, of course. But you must choose: do you want to see people getting stabbed cinematically in the premier trailer, or 8 minutes of people getting stabbed within the actual game?