Oh. Hello. I didn't... are you here for the Airbnb? Naw that's 2F2 upstairs. You dozen mimes, jugglers, and improv comedians go click-clunk your way upstairs with your wheelie trolleys--no, don't worry about banging those things all hours of the day and night--and do hurry, I'm expecting a hundred folks come to talk video games any minute now.
What are you playing this weekend? Here's what we're clicking on!
Because of some confusion between how my mother understands the phrase "the weekend after next" and how literally everyone else in the world understands it, I will be making a surprise visit home this weekend. This means I will be playing things like "keep warm in a cottage that is somehow freezing even while the rest of the country burns" or "find that one bit in the field out the back that has phone signal" instead of computer games.
I'm so very happy becoming the wrestledad of everyone Kiryu meets in Yakuza 0. What a good boy. Aside from the whole 'suplexing punks and slamming their heads in car doors' thing, I suppose - but they start it, it's always them. I've just begun Goro Majima's first section, and the polite and suspenseful introduction of this wiry psycho is so delightful I shouted at my computer.
And the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, obvs. I'm receiving a surprise visit from some distant family so I'm taking Monday off to show them around and watch children cry at clowns on the Royale Mile.
I'm on holiday! I don't have to play any stinking, disgusting, horrid videogames for a whole 9 days. I'm going to go outside to one of those big open places. You know, the hot place with loads of blue soup and tons of dust lying all over the floor. The beach. That's it. I'll see you on the beach.
This weekend will involve mostly playing the game of drinking at a beer festival, helping out at an open day of sorts, and maybe some more monster hunting or some espionage in Monster Hunter: World or Phantom Doctrine respectively. I haven't quite decided which yet I'll be brutally honest, but both games are appealing prospects!
I decided, in my infinite wisdom, that I missed being able to rent games. You know, heading down to Global Video with £3 and coming back with a weekend's worth of struggling through some awful PlayStation game. So now I've signed up to a game rental service and they've sent me Xenoblade Chronicles 2 on Switch. This is good news, because Yakuza 0, Monster Hunter: World and No Man's Sky weren't enough unplayed games to satisfy.
My friend is coming to stay this weekend, so if games are to be played, they'll be Downstairs Games. Console games. Most likely, Switch games. Although I'm not entirely certain how much he's looking forward to a weekend sat watching me play Picross S2.
Now that Capcom have fixed Monster Hunter: World's crashing issue, Matthew and I might finally go on some proper hunts together. We tried last weekend but were beset by crashes, annoying restrictions on when I could and couldn't join an assigned mission and such general tomfoolery that we both gave up in a huff and went back to sitting at opposite ends of the house doing our own thing. I may also squeeze in a bit more Ni No Kuni II as well, just because it's so lovely and the perfect game for playing on a lazy Sunday afternoon after a busy day of making dinosaurs hats and pants.
Murderous Pursuits is having a trial weekend, so I'm keen to capitalise on this inevitably brief period where the servers are actually populated.
I've also got Yakuza 0 to tuck into, though I'm two hours in and am thus far (I can't believe I'm about to send these words to Alice, someone hold her back) uncharmed.
The heat has turned me into the disintegrating water-man from the first X-Men film, so I'll be mostly keeping to the shade and moving very slowly. In honour of this, I might play some Shadow Tactics.
But you, dearest reader, what are you playing?