You can play Cult of the Lamb with a friend in a local co-op update this summer
Fun fact: internet acronym GOAT stands for "the goatest of all time"
A goat or a lamb - which makes the better sacrifice? Trick question, it's neither. The best sacrifices are old rich people. In Cult of the Lamb's next update, Unholy Alliance, you can sacrifice folks with a pal. The upcoming free update will add a co-op goat character so a friend can indoctrinate and stab alongside you. The developers have shown off the two-player update amid the summer news plague that is threatening to tear entire branches off the RPS treehouse this week. "Summoned by blood and born in corruption, this wicked new ally can join the holy Lamb in local co-op," say publishers Devolver. Ah, local co-op. Not online then. I guess this is for real-life people with real-life friends and a proper real-life sofa. Well. Good for them. I'm happy for them. Couldn't be happier. Happy happy happy.
Ah, I appreciate a fully animated misadventure included at the start of a trailer. I don't know who popularised this trend of cartoon fighting as a preamble to footage of the actual game. (Dead Cells? Hades?) Whoever it was, nice job. Although now that I've said it out loud, I will see this technique everywhere and it will begin to feel overdone. Don't you hate being a pattern-recognising animal?
You know who recognises no patterns? Goats. As the co-op horn-haver you'll be able to fight baddies, enjoy some fishing, and go on crusades. You'll also be able to play minigames together, like the dice-rolling knucklebones.
"The Lamb and the Goat can swap weapons, deal extra damage when fighting back-to-back, or deal a critical hit if their attacks are in sync," say Devolver. There will also be "new tarot cards, relics, buildings, fleeces, follower traits, follower quests, and other secrets to discover."
None of that means much to me, I haven't led any innocent young farm animals astray myself. But Ollie wrote our Cult of the Lamb review and found it very enjoyable. "Cult Of The Lamb absolutely oozes charisma and excitement at the tiniest opportunity," he said. He also admitted that his favourite thing in the game was forcing old cultists to take part in ritual duels to the death, a regular event at which all other cultists took reliable delight. What a sicko. I would never suggest something like that.
The Unholy Alliance update has an August 13th release date. Which is maybe enough time for me to find a human friend. Perhaps I will ask someone at my monthly book club if they fancy joining my farmyard cult. That's how you make mates as an adult, right?